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Poll is your love conditional or unconditional

which one is it

  • Total voters
    32
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Frickmychudlife said:
My heart is big and forgiving I look past humanly flaws and see a soul one that is good or bad either way I learn to appreciate and accept them
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ok bro im a closed minded person so i will ignore everything i think is not right about your answer sorry not sorry
 
Night said:
some people believe in it
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there are too many aspects to love it can't be unconditional

what if your gf/bf turns out to be abusive, a murderer, what if they don't give you anything in return, cheats on you, talks bad about you in front of you or trashtalks you behind your back and whatever, are you going to continue to love that person?

there are always conditions to love someone
 
tuberculosisinmybal said:
there are too many aspects to love it can't be unconditional

what if your gf/bf turns out to be abusive, a murderer, what if they don't give you anything in return, cheats on you, talks bad about you in front of you or trashtalks you behind your back and whatever, are you going to continue to love that person?

there are always conditions to love someone
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but the thing is, you love the person no matter what they do to you, it can be anything and you still won't care

and that is a gift and a curse
 
Night said:
but the thing is, you love the person no matter what they do to you, it can be a anything and you still won't care
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this doesn't exist, there is always a point where someone would stop loving someone, for some people it is cheating for some people it is way worse stuff than that.
 
Night said:
but if you love everyone you don't truly value human connections as they're all "the same" to you
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Human connection ? Another word we made up? Saying that I don’t value connection because I have it with everyone is not the bad thing you think it is. It also means then I must have meet everyone in the world so like not true again. And for it all to be the same is wrong case every one is different and I would have to understand and appreciate all differently therefore having a different kind of bond
 
tuberculosisinmybal said:
this doesn't exist, there is always a point where someone would stop loving someone, for some people it is cheating for some people it is way worse stuff than that.
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yeah I agree, 80% of my perception of love is just fantasy, cooked tbh
 
Frickmychudlife said:
not a Christian
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soul what is soul why you think its something that exists who created it who controls it how does it work can you see my soul what do you see am i bad person or not what is bad and what is good why you the judge of that why not something above above what is above is that someone or something where it comes from why we need it
 
limo8 said:
soul what is soul why you think its something that exists who created it who controls it how does it work can you see my soul what do you see am i bad person or not what is bad and what is good why you the judge of that why not something above above what is above is that someone or something where it comes from why we need it
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Whattt??????????? You can’t be serious this is shizo also i never said I didn’t believe in god
 
limo8 said:
soul what is soul why you think its something that exists who created it who controls it how does it work can you see my soul what do you see am i bad person or not what is bad and what is good why you the judge of that why not something above above what is above is that someone or something where it comes from why we need it
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Also I’m not the judge of that I just said good and bad to dumb it down. I’m not the judge of that because if I was that means everyone feels that way which is untrue because example I said I love everyone and you said you didn’t see that my opinion. And my opinion on someone’s soul
 
Frickmychudlife said:
Whattt??????????? You can’t be serious this is shizo also i never said I didn’t believe in god
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so you dont see thru human things and dont see soul why are you expiriencing such reaction did i do that or you did or something else what is it why are you creating some condition for your love you said you love everyone but you draw the line here we didnt even passed anything big yet you reacted in such a way
 
limo8 said:
so you dont see thru human things and dont see soul why are you expiriencing such reaction did i do that or you did or something else what is it why are you creating some condition for your love you said you love everyone but you draw the line here we didnt even passed anything big yet you reacted in such a way
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I mean I didn’t draw a line?? I didn’t say anything hateful just something crazy about ur comment also it’s called figurative language did they teach u this? It’s not literal I can’t look thru people and I reacted that way because you sounded like a shizo which wasn’t a big reaction tbh
 
Frickmychudlife said:
I mean I didn’t draw a line?? I didn’t say anything hateful just something crazy about ur comment also it’s called figurative language did they teach u this? It’s not literal I can’t look thru people and I reacted that way because you sounded like a shizo which wasn’t a big reaction tbh
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so you calling me dumb because i didnt understood what you had in your mind in your head yea makes sense
 
limo8 said:
so you calling me dumb because i didnt understood what you had in your mind in your head yea makes sense
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ur joking no I would think you would understand because no one can actually seen through people and you probably see that be used in ur life and yes u are dumb
 
Frickmychudlife said:
ur joking no I would think you would understand because no one can actually seen through people and you probably see that be used in ur life and yes u are dumb
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so what about my soul is my soul dumb too same as my whole existence ?
 
tuberculosisinmybal said:
this doesn't exist, there is always a point where someone would stop loving someone, for some people it is cheating for some people it is way worse stuff than that.
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But what if there’s a true act of altruism.
Say you give your life away for someone. You consciously decide to die for them.
Isn’t that true love? Since the action is fully selfless
 
Transposon said:
But what if there’s a true act of altruism.
Say you give your life away for someone. You consciously decide to die for them.
Isn’t that true love? Since the action is fully selfless
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everyone would do that for someone only if the conditions are met, you wouldn't die for everyone

not even the love towards your parents is uncoditional, and they're the people who gave you your life
 
Transposon said:
But what if there’s a true act of altruism.
Say you give your life away for someone. You consciously decide to die for them.
Isn’t that true love? Since the action is fully selfless
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its very rare and like its just doesnt make sense in natural aspect for you to continue living you need to try your best to not to die but well you were doomed from the start ig (not you but yk what i mean)
 
limo8 said:
its very rare and like its just doesnt make sense in natural aspect for you to continue living you need to try your best to not to die but well you were doomed from the start ig (not you but yk what i mean)
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dying for someone you love is not doomed, i would die for my wife too or my mom, but if my mom would be an abusive person who would treat me like trash, or if my wife would be a cheater and a gold digger i would stop to love them and then i wouldn't care if they would die or not
 
tuberculosisinmybal said:
everyone would do that for someone only if the conditions are met, you wouldn't die for everyone

not even the love towards your parents is uncoditional, and they're the people who gave you your life
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I understand your opinion.
You point out the fact, that we cannot limitlessly bear someone.
But what you suggest (and the way you do it) is somewhat fallacious.
You’re relying on the precondition that the person you love ‘could’ have a sudden personality change, where they become cheaters, abusers, etc.
But you’re relying on something external, alien and sudden
It is based on the precondition that the person we love changes so dramatically, that part of the betrayal, is the change itself. (You’d feel quite betrayed if your partner is secretly a shoplifter, of course because that is a very bad and embarrassing habit, but in part because they hid it from you and in doing so betrayed you)
So if your argument is based on a sudden change of personality of the person I love, is it even the person I love in the first place?
No you’re talking about the hypothetical of my partner becoming someone evil.
Whether I stop loving them or not is besides the point, you’re changing them into someone glaringly evil and most importantly someone ‘not real’ for the sake of your argument, but if that’s not the real and tangible person I fell in love with, but a hypothetical construct, what is the value of such a thought experiment?
Sure, we cannot limitlessly bear someone, based on the presumption they will change into something objectively bad. But that doesn’t mean we cannot truly love someone for who they are. (I’d wager most people are not secret murderers)
Expanding on the angle I was taking before, Isnt being altruistic (i.e doing things for someone that doesn’t directly benefit us, and in some cases may even harm us), just so beautiful?
There isn’t even a good evolutionary explanation of altruism.
It’s a deeply human emotion.
Isn’t that true love? To do something for someone where you don’t even benefit from it.
 
Transposon said:
I understand your opinion.
You point out the fact, that we cannot limitlessly bear someone.
But what you suggest (and the way you do it) is somewhat fallacious.
You’re relying on the precondition that the person you love ‘could’ have a sudden personality change, where they become cheaters, abusers, etc.
But you’re relying on something external, alien and sudden
It is based on the precondition that the person we love changes so dramatically, that part of the betrayal, is the change itself. (You’d feel quite betrayed if your partner is secretly a shoplifter, of course because that is a very bad and embarrassing habit, but in part because they hid it from you and in doing so betrayed you)
So if your argument is based on a sudden change of personality of the person I love, is it even the person I love in the first place?
No you’re talking about the hypothetical of my partner becoming someone evil.
Whether I stop loving them or not is besides the point, you’re changing them into someone glaringly evil and most importantly someone ‘not real’ for the sake of your argument, but if that’s not the real and tangible person I fell in love with, but a hypothetical construct, what is the value of such a thought experiment?
Sure, we cannot limitlessly bear someone, based on the presumption they will change into something objectively bad. But that doesn’t mean we cannot truly love someone for who they are. (I’d wager most people are not secret murderers)
Expanding on the angle I was taking before, Isnt being altruistic (i.e doing things for someone that doesn’t directly benefit us, and in some cases may even harm us), just so beautiful?
There isn’t even a good evolutionary explanation of altruism.
It’s a deeply human emotion.
Isn’t that true love? To do something for someone where you don’t even benefit from it.
Click to expand...

might be that i understood the thread wrong, but obviously if your partner does nothing "wrong" which would break your trust or harm you really bad you can do stuff for them without getting any benefit out of them, but you wouldn't do it for everyone, and love can fade away if your trust is broken or the person hurts you somehow

tuberculosisinmybal said:
dying for someone you love is not doomed, i would die for my wife too or my mom, but if my mom would be an abusive person who would treat me like trash, or if my wife would be a cheater and a gold digger i would stop to love them and then i wouldn't care if they would die or not
Click to expand...

as i said here, i would even die for them if the coniditions are met, but just because i love someone once it doesn't mean that i need to take shit from them and love them unconditionally
 
tuberculosisinmybal said:
might be that i understood the thread wrong, but obviously if your partner does nothing "wrong" which would break your trust or harm you really bad you can do stuff for them without getting any benefit out of them, but you wouldn't do it for everyone, and love can fade away if your trust is broken or the person hurts you somehow



as i said here, i would even die for them if the coniditions are met, but just because i love someone once it doesn't mean that i need to take shit from them and love them unconditionally
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I understand your opinion a lot better.
Okay, a little off topic to the direct discussion, but do you think just because there are conditions (in your case it is your partner simply having an enduring and consistent personality, i.e- just continuing to be themselves) does that mean true love doesn’t exist for you?
 
Transposon said:
Okay, a little off topic to the direct discussion, but do you think just because there are conditions (in your case it is your partner simply having an enduring and consistent personality, i.e- just continuing to be themselves) does that mean true love doesn’t exist for you?
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it's a hard topic ngl, obviously it does exist but in my opinion our society is too fast living and most people think that they're the main character, and a lot of people nowadays are opportunistic and it doesn't show from the beginning

true love can still exist, but its rare in my opinion,

it's the same with friendships too, not just love tho a lot of people expect you to do a lot for them, but they don't do anything for you and if you stop being nice to them or doing stuff for them they blame you for it
 
tuberculosisinmybal said:
it's a hard topic ngl, obviously it does exist but in my opinion our society is too fast living and most people think that they're the main character, and a lot of people nowadays are opportunistic and it doesn't show from the beginning

true love can still exist, but its rare in my opinion,

it's the same with friendships too, not just love tho a lot of people expect you to do a lot for them, but they don't do anything for you and if you stop being nice to them or doing stuff for them they blame you for it
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No, I fully agree with you on that. Modern day is too fast and transactional.
I also find your point very interesting.
If “true unconditional love” is defined as “love that transcends all conditions, even the identity of the beloved,” then it is indeed impossible, because love is a relation, and relations require relata.
In an ontological sense, our partner has to be our partner first in order for us to love them, and that is inescapable. The ordinary understanding of the word “conditional,” which you connect to something as deeply bound to a person as their personality, makes sense. At this level, the condition is not whether they change or not, but simply that they are the ones who possess the personality I fell in love with. In that way, it feels like a trade: your personality for my love.

What I mean by “unconditional love,” however, is this: my goodwill and care for you do not depend on your actions toward me or on any benefit I receive from you. Under that more grounded definition, unconditional love is absolutely possible I think.
Parents feel it toward children, soldiers toward comrades, and sometimes lovers toward each other. The condition of “you must exist as you” is trivial, of course it is you. But within that framework, the love itself is not transactional.
So it can exist (for the sake of answering the question - does it exist in the first place or not) but I too think, it is quite rare.
 
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