maybenotover420
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- Apr 23, 2025
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Fyi I'm 17, 6'3 mmtn and nd
About a month ago at a party, I met a girl who I thought immediately was pretty. Then, one of my friends asked me if I found anybody at that party attractive and I told him about it, then he told the girl who approached me right after. Objectively she is probably hmtb but she was totally my type
We started talking and after about 30 minutes, we were seated together on a couch and she kissed me. After this I went to another party with her where we talked and kissed again, and I hung out with her twice more where everything seemed to go very well. After the second hangout she even asked me right after when the next time was and we scheduled it on a friday 2 weeks away.
I was waiting for that date, because the previous times had been some of the best feeling days of my life, because being adored by a girl who I really liked is the best feeling out there. But when the week rolled around, a couple days before we had planned to hang out she tried to kill herself which was a huge shock to me and she got a bad headache on the day we were supposed to hang out (which is believable because she took an overdose of medication) so I couldn't see her. During this whole event I was really supportive and I even told her she was special to me.
Sadly, she was really busy during this time because of suicidal therapy, holiday period with her family and just school.
So I hadn't seen her for like 2 weeks and then while we called she told me she wouldn't be ready for a relationship for at least the coming month longer because she was in a hard place mentally. Then she told me that maybe we should stop talking because she didn't want to lead me on, but foolishly I did decide to continue talking to her but after this moment it wasn't the same, it wasn't as light hearted or interesting anymore and she still "couldn't" hang out. And because I felt this switch in vibe I opened up about my past, talking about how I used to be a loser (I've ascended a bit bc of late puberty) and generally I started acting less fun, more cold and more autistic.
Then after another 2 weeks she told me she doesnt think it will work out between us and we have stopped talking.
So TLDR, I talked to this girl who liked me initially and even tried to plan another hangout after the last time I saw her, but because of circumstances I couldn't see her and sperged out too much to the point she no longer likes me
Quite brutal right? Hanging out with her was legit eye opening, it opened my eyes to see that there is nothing more precious than being with a lover and basically nothing else comes close. And yet I completely fucked it up with her by being too nd.
At the same time this gives me a spark of hope, because I am not softmaxxed yet (I am too pale, don't have clear skin, could be leaner (im about 15.5% body fat), I need to use corticosteroids on my nose, and I need to eyebrowmaxx.) and I feel confident that I could reach hmtn or even htn by doing so. But at the same time I feel sad that I threw away this chance and that I hadn't done these things earlier.
About a month ago at a party, I met a girl who I thought immediately was pretty. Then, one of my friends asked me if I found anybody at that party attractive and I told him about it, then he told the girl who approached me right after. Objectively she is probably hmtb but she was totally my type
We started talking and after about 30 minutes, we were seated together on a couch and she kissed me. After this I went to another party with her where we talked and kissed again, and I hung out with her twice more where everything seemed to go very well. After the second hangout she even asked me right after when the next time was and we scheduled it on a friday 2 weeks away.
I was waiting for that date, because the previous times had been some of the best feeling days of my life, because being adored by a girl who I really liked is the best feeling out there. But when the week rolled around, a couple days before we had planned to hang out she tried to kill herself which was a huge shock to me and she got a bad headache on the day we were supposed to hang out (which is believable because she took an overdose of medication) so I couldn't see her. During this whole event I was really supportive and I even told her she was special to me.
Sadly, she was really busy during this time because of suicidal therapy, holiday period with her family and just school.
So I hadn't seen her for like 2 weeks and then while we called she told me she wouldn't be ready for a relationship for at least the coming month longer because she was in a hard place mentally. Then she told me that maybe we should stop talking because she didn't want to lead me on, but foolishly I did decide to continue talking to her but after this moment it wasn't the same, it wasn't as light hearted or interesting anymore and she still "couldn't" hang out. And because I felt this switch in vibe I opened up about my past, talking about how I used to be a loser (I've ascended a bit bc of late puberty) and generally I started acting less fun, more cold and more autistic.
Then after another 2 weeks she told me she doesnt think it will work out between us and we have stopped talking.
So TLDR, I talked to this girl who liked me initially and even tried to plan another hangout after the last time I saw her, but because of circumstances I couldn't see her and sperged out too much to the point she no longer likes me
Quite brutal right? Hanging out with her was legit eye opening, it opened my eyes to see that there is nothing more precious than being with a lover and basically nothing else comes close. And yet I completely fucked it up with her by being too nd.
At the same time this gives me a spark of hope, because I am not softmaxxed yet (I am too pale, don't have clear skin, could be leaner (im about 15.5% body fat), I need to use corticosteroids on my nose, and I need to eyebrowmaxx.) and I feel confident that I could reach hmtn or even htn by doing so. But at the same time I feel sad that I threw away this chance and that I hadn't done these things earlier.
