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- Jul 16, 2026
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i remember as a kid when i was around 8, then i started feeling what i now understand as depression. no dramatic shit, just this constant emptiness and void that never really went away. by 15 i was diagnosed with depression + ADHD, literally around the age people leave school here. autism and OCD only got properly understood much later.
i'm mixed and grew up in a predominantly white country. my mother is from here too, but i still never really felt like i belonged. people constantly belittled me, treated me like a lolcow and switched up on me. one of the most absurd examples was my old principal singling me out in front of the whole class over saying n***a even though everyone was saying it.(white ppl included) he literally told me he didn't want me saying it because "n****r is a bad word and he should know, his wife is one." his wife was Tamil Sri Lankan.
To this day im so distraught how a guy like that can be a principal
lost a lot of genuinely good friends over the years, including my childhood best friend. people i thought were solid just weren't once shit got real. at the same time my home life was fucked too.
physically i've also had a congenital defect in both legs. one got surgically fixed, the other didn't, so my gait is still fucked. another thing i've had to carry around while spending my whole life trying to look normal.
relationships weren't exactly better. every genuinely good girl i've cared about ended up getting hurt or pushed away by me. even lost my virginity in a meaningless situation after being pressured into it instead of it being something i actually wanted.
so yeah there's a pretty long chain of shit behind the current me.
this is still the heavily condensed version.
but fuckit we ball
momma aint raise no quitter
i'm mixed and grew up in a predominantly white country. my mother is from here too, but i still never really felt like i belonged. people constantly belittled me, treated me like a lolcow and switched up on me. one of the most absurd examples was my old principal singling me out in front of the whole class over saying n***a even though everyone was saying it.(white ppl included) he literally told me he didn't want me saying it because "n****r is a bad word and he should know, his wife is one." his wife was Tamil Sri Lankan.
To this day im so distraught how a guy like that can be a principal
lost a lot of genuinely good friends over the years, including my childhood best friend. people i thought were solid just weren't once shit got real. at the same time my home life was fucked too.
physically i've also had a congenital defect in both legs. one got surgically fixed, the other didn't, so my gait is still fucked. another thing i've had to carry around while spending my whole life trying to look normal.
relationships weren't exactly better. every genuinely good girl i've cared about ended up getting hurt or pushed away by me. even lost my virginity in a meaningless situation after being pressured into it instead of it being something i actually wanted.
so yeah there's a pretty long chain of shit behind the current me.
this is still the heavily condensed version.
but fuckit we ball
momma aint raise no quitter
