luck of the draw

[acketar]

I get to hear about how wonderful my peer's parents are daily. They talk about the things their parents buy for them, the favors their parents give them, the places they go with their parents, the laughs they share with their parents, and the entire emotional connection they have with their parents. For example, my mother refuses to let me do competition boxing in concern for my "intelligence"; however, she also refuses to provide breakfast, lunch, or dinner for me, and in many parts neglects my health. Both my father and mother do the minimum of at least taking me to the doctor once a year, but recently my mother has quit taking me to the dentist, and I have to rely on my own funds and doings in order to stay in tune with my dental health. It doesn't help that I don't have access to good food, food that won't eat away at my teeth and destroy my gut. My mother refuses to let me nap; she wakes me up at 4 am every day for absolutely no reason. My school doesn't start until 5 hours later; we only live 7 minutes away by car, too. My father berates me at the slightest inconvenience when I spend time under his roof, and uses every minute flaw in my doings to educate me or teach me a lesson. My whole life, I have had to look out for my own health, buy my own food, medication, and cook for myself. The only thing my mother reliably does for me is provide me with transport to school and pay for the house I live in. I don't even have a bed. I don't live in poverty, but I have the bare minimum, and I only have the bare minimum upon my own accord. This lifestyle has forced me to seek financial support through unreliable and shady means. I purchased my own car, hopefully, after I can start driving myself to a job, it will all get better. I am planning on moving out at 18 and never turning back. The only problem is that the family outside of my mother and father is relatively good, except that the price I must pay in order to stay in contact with said family is to stay in contact with my oppressors.

All I've ever wanted was to at least be able to laugh at a joke around my parents. I'm envious of nothing to an acute extent, but this fact is in spite of the jealousy I have towards those with good guardians.

 

[ecoli]

im not reading all that

 

[prettybird]

I get to hear about how wonderful my peer's parents are daily. They talk about the things their parents buy for them, the favors their parents give them, the places they go with their parents, the laughs they share with their parents, and the entire emotional connection they have with their parents. For example, my mother refuses to let me do competition boxing in concern for my "intelligence"; however, she also refuses to provide breakfast, lunch, or dinner for me, and in many parts neglects my health. Both my father and mother do the minimum of at least taking me to the doctor once a year, but recently my mother has quit taking me to the dentist, and I have to rely on my own funds and doings in order to stay in tune with my dental health. It doesn't help that I don't have access to good food, food that won't eat away at my teeth and destroy my gut. My mother refuses to let me nap; she wakes me up at 4 am every day for absolutely no reason. My school doesn't start until 5 hours later; we only live 7 minutes away by car, too. My father berates me at the slightest inconvenience when I spend time under his roof, and uses every minute flaw in my doings to educate me or teach me a lesson. My whole life, I have had to look out for my own health, buy my own food, medication, and cook for myself. The only thing my mother reliably does for me is provide me with transport to school and pay for the house I live in. I don't even have a bed. I don't live in poverty, but I have the bare minimum, and I only have the bare minimum upon my own accord. This lifestyle has forced me to seek financial support through unreliable and shady means. I purchased my own car, hopefully, after I can start driving myself to a job, it will all get better. I am planning on moving out at 18 and never turning back. The only problem is that the family outside of my mother and father is relatively good, except that the price I must pay in order to stay in contact with said family is to stay in contact with my oppressors.

All I've ever wanted was to at least be able to laugh at a joke around my parents. I'm envious of nothing to an acute extent, but this fact is in spite of the jealousy I have towards those with good guardians.

this feeling is really familiar. i hope you don’t internalize these feelings though. it’s not your fault how your parents treated you, and it’s not your fault that you were raised in an unhappy environment.

life is genuinely so unfair. why do some people get the short end of the stick and have to deal with mental and health issues? why couldn’t everyone get circumstances that made them feel supported and safe? the tough love now will make you a stronger person. This too, shall pass.

 

[acketar]

this feeling is really familiar. i hope you don’t internalize these feelings though. it’s not your fault how your parents treated you, and it’s not your fault that you were raised in an unhappy environment.

life is genuinely so unfair. why do some people get the short end of the stick and have to deal with mental and health issues? why couldn’t everyone get circumstances that made them feel supported and safe? the tough love now will make you a stronger person. This too, shall pass.

I wish I could even call it tough love, they dont love me. My mother many times has called me the failure of her children, my father himself says he doesnt love me