Mental Health is the foundation for good looks

[Nowkt]

I was a MTN-HTN a couple months ago and now I look like shit. I was getting treated hella good and now society is proving me again that it only cares ablut looks.
How did I descend?:
I was living in an abusive Household, started medicine school and got very stressed and became friends with a narzicist and a psychopath or whatever tf he was. This giant Cortisol spike turned into a downwards spiral. Got chubby, was sick all the time, even had some major health problems and stopped taking care or myself. This then resulted in People treating me different and feeling like the loser I was the first 17 years of my life all over again.
The turning Point:
I was at such a low that my sleep problems started feeling like the Narrator from Fight Club. Then one day I had a Panic attack for multiple hours and completely lost sense of reality, because I suddenly remembered all the fucked up things my Parents did to me and that they didn‘t change but just started fooling me into beliving they turned good all of a sudden. Since this panic attack I was spending about 8 weeks in an neurotic state. I almost failed my exams, because I was thinking about my past for 8hours+ a day, trying to solve the puzzles of my Family and mental state.
It goes uphill now:
After I finally cracked the code of all the abuse that has been going on and all my coping mechanisms,I started to dig myself out of this hellhole. Found myself my own apartment, started getting back on track with my carnivore diet, started doing exercises for my posture, fixed hygiene, started dressing better, went to multiple doctors for some of my health problems and Im trying to get okayish sleep (I have severe sleep Issues because of trauma, but they get better now that im free from my abusers).

So yeah Im still not looking good, but Im back on track. After my first Ascend I thought I could finally forget that it is all about looks and live a happy life… next time.
In a couple months of getting lean I will post my lowest Point and how I have risen. Just shows, that no good genes can balance out having no will to live.
Plz remove yourselfes from your abusive surroundings

Me before the descend:

 

[dent]

I was a MTN-HTN a couple months ago and now I look like shit. I was getting treated hella good and now society is proving me again that it only cares ablut looks.
How did I descend?:
I was living in an abusive Household, started medicine school and got very stressed and became friends with a narzicist and a psychopath or whatever tf he was. This giant Cortisol spike turned into a downwards spiral. Got chubby, was sick all the time, even had some major health problems and stopped taking care or myself. This then resulted in People treating me different and feeling like the loser I was the first 17 years of my life all over again.
The turning Point:
I was at such a low that my sleep problems started feeling like the Narrator from Fight Club. Then one day I had a Panic attack for multiple hours and completely lost sense of reality, because I suddenly remembered all the fucked up things my Parents did to me and that they didn‘t change but just started fooling me into beliving they turned good all of a sudden. Since this panic attack I was spending about 8 weeks in an neurotic state. I almost failed my exams, because I was thinking about my past for 8hours+ a day, trying to solve the puzzles of my Family and mental state.
It goes uphill now:
After I finally cracked the code of all the abuse that has been going on and all my coping mechanisms,I started to dig myself out of this hellhole. Found myself my own apartment, started getting back on track with my carnivore diet, started doing exercises for my posture, fixed hygiene, started dressing better, went to multiple doctors for some of my health problems and Im trying to get okayish sleep (I have severe sleep Issues because of trauma, but they get better now that im free from my abusers).

So yeah Im still not looking good, but Im back on track. After my first Ascend I thought I could finally forget that it is all about looks and live a happy life… next time.
In a couple months of getting lean I will post my lowest Point and how I have risen. Just shows, that no good genes can balance out having no will to live.
Plz remove yourselfes from your abusive surroundings

Me before the descend:
View attachment 386180View attachment 386182View attachment 386183View attachment 386187

its okay man, keep going youve not lost a sense of reality if you can still distinguish between right and wrong

 

[Nowkt]

its okay man, keep going youve not lost a sense of reality if you can still distinguish between right and wrong

that was only for a couple hours after the panic attack. It felt like my brain was melting. Did some reckless stuff that day, as if I was just a roaming corpse that will die anyway as soon as the sun goes down.
After that it was just the constant overthinking for weeks and always questioning everything I do

 

[dent]

that was only for a couple hours after the panic attack. It felt like my brain was melting. Did some reckless stuff that day, as if I was just a roaming corpse that will die anyway as soon as the sun goes down.
After that it was just the constant overthinking for weeks and always questioning everything I do

I relate man 2 years back I too had one such moment and was on bed for the entire time feeling dead and distant to everyone. It was the first and last time this ever occured. The overthinking eventually passes and a part of you will disappear you wont realize when along with your ability to cry leaving you stranded. I dont know what am I trying to say but ykwim

 

[Nowkt]

I relate man 2 years back I too had one such moment and was on bed for the entire time feeling dead and distant to everyone. It was the first and last time this ever occured. The overthinking eventually passes and a part of you will disappear you wont realize when along with your ability to cry leaving you stranded. I dont know what am I trying to say but ykwim

This feeling of just accepting defeat is the most soul crushing thing to go through. Glad to hear you are in a better place rn.
Im kinda worried about returning back to this forum, as it seems counterintuitive for gaining back mental health to return to a looksmaxxing forum yk hahaha

 

[dent]

This feeling of just accepting defeat is the most soul crushing thing to go through. Glad to hear you are in a better place rn.
Im kinda worried about returning back to this forum, as it seems counterintuitive for gaining back mental health to return to a looksmaxxing forum yk hahaha

them problems just stop mattering