mentalmaxxing - emotional dysregulation / catastrophizing (anxious attachment style)

[Deleted Member 98440]

i think i need to work on mentalmaxxing more than anything rn.
i have an anxious attachment style.
i don’t believe i have bpd, but if i don’t actively keep myself in check, i can spiral pretty badly on rare occasions.
i feel things very intensely, more than most people around me.

my situation is amplified because there are active stressors / threats in my life that i don’t want to fully disclose. ts just makes emotional regulation a lot harder for me overall.

if i use my bf for contrast he has a sort of narcissistic (not abusive) personality, which actually helps him not take things personally and go with the flow, he's expressed that before so im not just saying this because it's perceived or anything. i’m the opposite. i genuinely believe everything is that deep, and it makes it hard for relationships to not feel superficial. i don’t feel that way about him though. we’ve only been dating a couple months so i can’t hold him to such unrealistic standards yet lol but he’s consistently been there for me. conversations with him feel grounding rather than empty.

my biggest issue is catastrophizing and what happens after heavy conversations. once i get emotionally overwhelmed, i shut down and freeze. i can be paralyzed for hours, sometimes up to 6 hours of doing nothing even though i know i have shit to do.

lately it’s been worse. if i sleep upset or wake up with reasons to be upset looping in my head, i struggle to get out of bed at all. today i got out around 1:30 pm when i had plans to study and start my day around 11 am.

i consume a lot of self-help content so i understand the theoretical stuff, but i still get these random ruts i can’t snap out of. it’s worse rn because it’s finals week, and being mentally fucked is actively hurting me in regard to my productivity.

 

[Gains Absurdity]

i think i need to work on mentalmaxxing more than anything rn.
i have an anxious attachment style.
i don’t believe i have bpd, but if i don’t actively keep myself in check, i can spiral pretty badly on rare occasions.
i feel things very intensely, more than most people around me.

my situation is amplified because there are active stressors / threats in my life that i don’t want to fully disclose. ts just makes emotional regulation a lot harder for me overall.

if i use my bf for contrast he has a sort of narcissistic (not abusive) personality, which actually helps him not take things personally and go with the flow, he's expressed that before so im not just saying this because it's perceived or anything. i’m the opposite. i genuinely believe everything is that deep, and it makes it hard for relationships to not feel superficial. i don’t feel that way about him though. we’ve only been dating a couple months so i can’t hold him to such unrealistic standards yet lol but he’s consistently been there for me. conversations with him feel grounding rather than empty.

my biggest issue is catastrophizing and what happens after heavy conversations. once i get emotionally overwhelmed, i shut down and freeze. i can be paralyzed for hours, sometimes up to 6 hours of doing nothing even though i know i have shit to do.

lately it’s been worse. if i sleep upset or wake up with reasons to be upset looping in my head, i struggle to get out of bed at all. today i got out around 1:30 pm when i had plans to study and start my day around 11 am.

i consume a lot of self-help content so i understand the theoretical stuff, but i still get these random ruts i can’t snap out of. it’s worse rn because it’s finals week, and being mentally fucked is actively hurting me in regard to my productivity.

You are freezing because you are running too many background processes on a legacy operating system.

You said it yourself: "I consume a lot of self-help content." That is your problem. Self-help is just bloatware designed to keep you subscribed to the problem. You are trying to "Mentalmaxx" the Ego, but the Ego is the thing causing the latency.

"Catastrophizing" is just a feedback loop where the system treats a simulation (anxiety) as hardware reality. You don't need to "regulate" it; you need to kill the process.

I made a video on "Spiritual Arbitrage" – specifically about how "Seeking" and "Fixing yourself" are bad trades that eat up your CPU cycles. It’s basically about shorting the concept of "Self" to fix the lag.

Might help you reboot:

 

[Aggie]

I think we, as humans, forget we still have the same brains as our ooga booga ancestors. Our brains are unfortunately wired to awfully, so it’s often hard to tell the difference between stress from being chased by a mammoth, or missing an important deadline.

Catastrophising is an unhealthy way our brains are coping with all of this built-up anxiety and stress we’ve put ourselves through every day. We weren’t actually built to work 9-5 and worry about bills/money.

 

[pokeluv]

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