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My (19F) white grandpa (74M) just disowned me because I'm dating my Nepali boyfriend (20M). I feel like I can't breathe.
I don’t even know where to start. I’m sitting in my dorm bathroom crying so hard I’m shaking.
I’m white. My boyfriend (20M) is Nepali (born in Kathmandu, moved here when he was 4). We’ve been together 3 months. He’s literally the kindest person I’ve ever met taught my little brother how to say “I love you” in Nepali, calls my mom “aunty” and helps her carry groceries without being asked.
My grandpa has been my favorite person since I was born. He used to let me fall asleep on his chest when I was little, paid for my ballet pointe shoes, still calls me “his princess.” I was SO excited for him to meet my boyfriend because I thought he’d love him.
Sunday we went to family dinner at Grandpa’s house. The second my boyfriend walked in holding a box of confectioneries he made himself, Grandpa went silent. Didn’t say hello, didn’t shake his hand, just stared. Dinner was awful Grandpa kept muttering under his breath
Yesterday I got this text from Grandpa (exact copypaste):
“I’m ashamed to call you my granddaughter. You’re throwing away your future on some third world street kid. I’ll be dead before I let that filth inherit what I worked for. You are no longer welcome in my home and I’ve removed you from my will. Do not contact me again until you come to your senses.”
He blocked me right after. My dad says Grandpa told him if anyone in the family keeps talking to me, they’re cut off too.
I keep rereading the text and sobbing. That’s what he thinks of my boyfriend. That’s what he thinks of me now.
I called my mom hysterically asking if I’m a bad person for loving someone who isn’t white. She started crying too and said no, of course not, but I can tell she’s scared of losing her dad.
I haven’t slept. I feel disgusting. Like I did something immoral just by falling in love. My boyfriend keeps hugging me and saying none of this is my fault but I feel like it is.
Has anyone else had a grandparent turn racist overnight like this? How do you stop feeling like you’re the one who ruined everything? I just want my grandpa back but I also don’t want to lose my boyfriend and I hate that I even have to choose.
TLDR: Grandpa who raised me just called my Nepali boyfriend “filth,” disowned me, and cut me out of the will for dating him. I’m completely broken.
I don’t even know where to start. I’m sitting in my dorm bathroom crying so hard I’m shaking.
I’m white. My boyfriend (20M) is Nepali (born in Kathmandu, moved here when he was 4). We’ve been together 3 months. He’s literally the kindest person I’ve ever met taught my little brother how to say “I love you” in Nepali, calls my mom “aunty” and helps her carry groceries without being asked.
My grandpa has been my favorite person since I was born. He used to let me fall asleep on his chest when I was little, paid for my ballet pointe shoes, still calls me “his princess.” I was SO excited for him to meet my boyfriend because I thought he’d love him.
Sunday we went to family dinner at Grandpa’s house. The second my boyfriend walked in holding a box of confectioneries he made himself, Grandpa went silent. Didn’t say hello, didn’t shake his hand, just stared. Dinner was awful Grandpa kept muttering under his breath
Yesterday I got this text from Grandpa (exact copypaste):
“I’m ashamed to call you my granddaughter. You’re throwing away your future on some third world street kid. I’ll be dead before I let that filth inherit what I worked for. You are no longer welcome in my home and I’ve removed you from my will. Do not contact me again until you come to your senses.”
He blocked me right after. My dad says Grandpa told him if anyone in the family keeps talking to me, they’re cut off too.
I keep rereading the text and sobbing. That’s what he thinks of my boyfriend. That’s what he thinks of me now.
I called my mom hysterically asking if I’m a bad person for loving someone who isn’t white. She started crying too and said no, of course not, but I can tell she’s scared of losing her dad.
I haven’t slept. I feel disgusting. Like I did something immoral just by falling in love. My boyfriend keeps hugging me and saying none of this is my fault but I feel like it is.
Has anyone else had a grandparent turn racist overnight like this? How do you stop feeling like you’re the one who ruined everything? I just want my grandpa back but I also don’t want to lose my boyfriend and I hate that I even have to choose.
TLDR: Grandpa who raised me just called my Nepali boyfriend “filth,” disowned me, and cut me out of the will for dating him. I’m completely broken.
