Serious My thoughts on something

[gooning2u67]

I don’t know. I’m just worried about the future, but I know my thoughts are kind of messed up.

→ If I become attractive, I feel like I’d get looked at a lot by people, and that would make me uncomfortable.
→ If a girl or guy tried dating me or flirting with me, I’d probably think they’re lying and get scared.

Why is my mind wired like this?

I only joke around with my friends in real life because they’re the closest thing I have. The only girls I ever really talked to were two who were upfront with me and they weren’t interested.

But if I stay MTN, I’ll never see my full potential and might die ugly.
And if I become HTN, I might die beautiful, but with more mental problems.

Decisions, decisions.

Maybe one day I’ll figure out why so many things happened to me.

 

[geneticCage]

If a girl or guy tried dating me or flirting with me, I’d probably think they’re lying and get scared.

So fucking real man

 

[wsada]

So fucking real man

Youre both bisexual?

 

[GUPAGUPA]

But if I stay MTN, I’ll never see my full potential and might die ugly.

throw this onto the pile of MTN moaners

 

[gooning2u67]

A lingering question in my head that disturbs me is that I'm seen as an object by people, and I've been used since 6 years old. I don't like to give out too much personal detail because a lot of people here would use it against me. But I was SA'd by a girl at 6 years old. It was strange, but I was pretty lean at the time.

Was I pretty and attractive my whole life?

If God truly existed, why did He do this to me? Was He scared I'd become a horrible person or even a bully? Did He want me to experience harassment in real life to show how it feels, and then I'd become attractive.

Strange. The voice in the right, its not really a voice more or less a personality I made to cope with everything says that its my fault for not realizing everything. Something on my left tells me you made mistakes and you have to move on and be better everyday.

 

[gooning2u67]

Youre both bisexual?

Idk what that is

 

[geneticCage]

Idk what that is

Being gay and straight

 

[gooning2u67]

Being gay and straight

Idk. I dont see no difference maybe im just weird.

I sense them to be how do I put it. Cylinders or Spheres. One has curves the other is built. Yet again both can have curves the other one can be built.

 

[gooning2u67]

Idk. I dont see no difference maybe im just weird.

I sense them to be how do I put it. Cylinders or Spheres. One has curves the other is built. Yet again both can have curves the other one can be built.

Im not gay I just dont see no difference

 

[Deleted Member 70339]

Bring on the mental health issues blud

 

[gooning2u67]

Bring on the mental health issues blud

Idk. If I get diagnosed with something that would look back on my resume. Better undiagnosed than treated like a fucking animal, maybe so. Idk

 

[geneticCage]

Idk. If I get diagnosed with something that would look back on my resume. Better undiagnosed than treated like a fucking animal, maybe so. Idk

Manmade diagnoses

 

[gooning2u67]

Manmade diagnoses

Self diagnosed Randomized-Boner disorder

 

[geneticCage]

Self diagnosed Randomized-Boner disorder

Self-diagnosed no random boner disorder

 

[gooning2u67]

Self-diagnosed no random boner disorder

Viagra!

 

[geneticCage]

Viagra!

I will when I'll need to one day

 

[chillgirl]

I don’t know. I’m just worried about the future, but I know my thoughts are kind of messed up.

→ If I become attractive, I feel like I’d get looked at a lot by people, and that would make me uncomfortable.
→ If a girl or guy tried dating me or flirting with me, I’d probably think they’re lying and get scared.

Why is my mind wired like this?

I only joke around with my friends in real life because they’re the closest thing I have. The only girls I ever really talked to were two who were upfront with me and they weren’t interested.

But if I stay MTN, I’ll never see my full potential and might die ugly.
And if I become HTN, I might die beautiful, but with more mental problems.

Decisions, decisions.

Maybe one day I’ll figure out why so many things happened to me.

mtn and ugly in the same sentence lol

 

[swanneo]

you're paranoid or insecure maybe. i also think whoever approaches me is lying by default