My dad won't even let me sell my own clothes, when he asked what do I need money for I said to buy Rick Owens (cuz that's one of the only things that will make me happy rn) he said no, and he wonders why I'm becoming a shut in. I'm unhappy ASF, and my dad doesn't even let me go hang with friends when I'm borderline 15. And then he wonders why i sneak phones, maybe because you don't give me another Chance to interact with my friends, i was already an awkward guy but now I'm antisocial, not really my dads fault so much cuz I blame the girls who bullied me in the past and also the ones who've rejected me in either vague words (saying idk whenever i ask them to be my gf) or led me on and then rejected me or whove played with my emotions, i was always shy or awkward around girls but I still used to seek out attention and love from them, now i honestly don't really care to seek out a girl cuz they wouldnt want me back, usually i would joke with them and shit but im honestly not in the mood for a "talking stage" because all ive ever gotten from that is rejection. Its at a point where i see a girl and dont even think about if i was her bf, when i see a girl all i think about is how theres no shot i get her and the darker part of me is angry and when they speak it gets angrier, especially if they expect me to jester and entertain their attempts to lead me on just to shatter me. I will try one last time to ask the 3 girls i know online and if they dont wanna love me i give up and its over, i wish i could've upheld my plan to post positive posts about my love life here but anyway
