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past week has been rough for me

icnone

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today marks the end of the first week of my internship

our intern class has a few hundred people, and the company plans a lot of breakfasts, dinners, social events, and other things for us to do together

i spent the past few years barely able to leave my room so this was the first time I was really exposed to people my age

i tried talking to people and realized I don't even know how to talk anymore

no words would come out of my mouth and everyone would continue talking while i just sat there silently

and then i watch everyone effortlessly get to know everybody and have people they talk to like best buds

i couldn't take it anymore when people started bringing up their partners

everybody met their partners in their first and second years while im heading into my third year with no friends let alone a partner

it will take me a year to get lean, then what? a single year to find someone who cares about me?

college will be over and i will have graduated alone

and i will be on my own

and people will see me and say "this person couldn't date in college? something must be wrong with him"

i can't even do the basic things that seem to come naturally to everyone else

i am a defect

i am valued by nobody and known by nobody

i have no memories or personality

i am not even a real fucking person

just a piece of shit who cries every night

at least going to all these events taught me how to use the subway

now I know exactly where to go when I want to disappear
 
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today marks the end of the first week of my internship

our intern class has a few hundred people, and the company plans a lot of breakfasts, dinners, social events, and other things for us to do together

i spent the past few years barely able to leave my room so this was the first time I was really exposed to people my age

i tried talking to people and realized I don't even know how to talk anymore

no words would come out of my mouth and everyone would continue talking while i just sat there silently

and then i watch everyone effortlessly get to know everybody and have people they talk to like best buds

i couldn't take it anymore when people started bringing up their partners

everybody met their partners in their first and second years while im heading into my third year with no friends let alone a partner

it will take me a year to get lean, then what? a single year to find someone who cares about me?

college will be over and i will have graduated alone

and i will be on my own

and people will see me and say "this person couldn't date in college? something must be wrong with him"

i can't even do the basic things that seem to come naturally to everyone else

i am a defect

i am valued by nobody and known by nobody

i have no memories or personality

i am not even a real fucking person

just a piece of shit who cries every night

at least going to all these events taught me how to use the subway

now I know exactly where to go when I want to disappear
There's hope for you, don't beat yourself up because you're still adjusting to a new routine. social interactions will come in time
 
it's over, bud
 
today marks the end of the first week of my internship

our intern class has a few hundred people, and the company plans a lot of breakfasts, dinners, social events, and other things for us to do together

i spent the past few years barely able to leave my room so this was the first time I was really exposed to people my age

i tried talking to people and realized I don't even know how to talk anymore

no words would come out of my mouth and everyone would continue talking while i just sat there silently

and then i watch everyone effortlessly get to know everybody and have people they talk to like best buds

i couldn't take it anymore when people started bringing up their partners

everybody met their partners in their first and second years while im heading into my third year with no friends let alone a partner

it will take me a year to get lean, then what? a single year to find someone who cares about me?

college will be over and i will have graduated alone

and i will be on my own

and people will see me and say "this person couldn't date in college? something must be wrong with him"

i can't even do the basic things that seem to come naturally to everyone else

i am a defect

i am valued by nobody and known by nobody

i have no memories or personality

i am not even a real fucking person

just a piece of shit who cries every night

at least going to all these events taught me how to use the subway

now I know exactly where to go when I want to disappear
Aye u got this broo no point of giving up u got ur whole life ahead u gngy JSPP yuh head up promise it’ll get better
 
i really hope one day i can live a life that is anything but this
i just hope.

time to start LDARmaxxing


gngy JSPP?
don't fret! you have your whole life ahead of you
 

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