R1pMe0p3n
Everything I’m not doesn’t define what I am.
I know some say that people treat you differently based on how attractive you are, but is that actually true? Maybe I just have poor judgment and choose the wrong people, but I feel like no matter how attractive you are, some will treat you exactly the same—if not worse as someone less attractive.I feel so unlovable lately. Why am I not worth loyalty? Why am I not worth an innocent, pure love? I know that “Perfect” “Unconditional” love is fantasy, but I can’t help it—I’m a hopeless romantic. All I want is someone I can be vulnerable with without worrying about shame or regret. I want to be completely open and honest without judgment, with someone who would never be spiteful or intentionally hurt me. I want that love you see in movies,—the kind that just happens naturally, without force. I want to click with someone so deeply that conversation just flows because we are so alike. My love is pure, and I just wish I had someone to share it with. I constantly question if I am the issue, and maybe I am to some degree. I’ve always been willing to change for others, but whenever I cater to someone else's needs, it ends up feeling pointless. People tell me to “Just be yourself”, but that feels even worse. If I’m this unlovable as is, I’d almost rather put up a facade and let people mistreat that version of me instead. I’m sorry for the rant. My mind has been racing at 1000 MPH and I just don't know what to do anymore.
