Info Social interactions

[RedishH3ro]

A famous Chinese proverb goes like this. ''A small measure of rice earns gratitude, a large measure earns resentment. When you give a starving man a little rice he'll thank you. Give a starving man a lot of rice every day and it quietly stops being a gift and he expects it.''
When something arrives reliably, the moment it disappears you're not missed.

The same goes for the attention you give to people. You need to treat your attention like it is worth something because it is. When people have social interactions they get a little dopamine hit. People crave attention and social interaction. If you make your attention easy to get they will get less of a dopamine hit because people don't value something that costs them nothing to obtain. Anyone can get attention from you. If you make it too hard they will stop trying and see you as arrogant. The key is calibration. You need to make your attention feel genuinely earned without making it impossible

It resembles a game of tennis. If you play against someone and win every time it gets boring, if you play against someone and lose every time it's not fun. You need to find the sweet spot by letting them win sometimes and lose sometimes..

If you have status or good looks your attention immediately gains value because you're an admirable person. Coming back to the tennis analogy most people wouldn't mind playing Novak Djokovic even if they lose all the time because he is one of the best and therefore playing a game of tennis with him is worth a lot.

p.s. Don't take this too seriously if you have no problems with social interactions. I have mild autism and struggle with this.
Lmk if I should make a more detailed thread

Spoiler: Tag

@Ladiesman217 @vamp @genio @Apollonius @Canthopexular can someone tag @Aurelius74 ? I can't seem to tag him

 

[vamp]

bump

 

[RedishH3ro]

bump

 

[RedishH3ro]

I actually post a somewhat informative thread and no one reply's

 

[genio]

A famous Chinese proverb goes like this. ''A small measure of rice earns gratitude, a large measure earns resentment. When you give a starving man a little rice he'll thank you. Give a starving man a lot of rice every day and it quietly stops being a gift and he expects it.''
When something arrives reliably, the moment it disappears you're not missed.

The same goes for the attention you give to people. You need to treat your attention like it is worth something because it is. When people have social interactions they get a little dopamine hit. People crave attention and social interaction. If you make your attention easy to get they will get less of a dopamine hit because people don't value something that costs them nothing to obtain. Anyone can get attention from you. If you make it too hard they will stop trying and see you as arrogant. The key is calibration. You need to make your attention feel genuinely earned without making it impossible

It resembles a game of tennis. If you play against someone and win every time it gets boring, if you play against someone and lose every time it's not fun. You need to find the sweet spot by letting them win sometimes and lose sometimes..

If you have status or good looks your attention immediately gains value because you're an admirable person. Coming back to the tennis analogy most people wouldn't mind playing Novak Djokovic even if they lose all the time because he is one of the best and therefore playing a game of tennis with him is worth a lot.

p.s. Don't take this too seriously if you have no problems with social interactions. I have mild autism and struggle with this.
Lmk if I should make a more detailed thread

Spoiler: Tag

@Ladiesman217 @vamp @genio @Apollonius @Canthopexular can someone tag @Aurelius74 ? I can't seem to tag him

Wise words

 

[genio]

I actually post a somewhat informative thread and no one reply's

Its ok i read it

 

[chero]

A famous Chinese proverb goes like this. ''A small measure of rice earns gratitude, a large measure earns resentment. When you give a starving man a little rice he'll thank you. Give a starving man a lot of rice every day and it quietly stops being a gift and he expects it.''
When something arrives reliably, the moment it disappears you're not missed.

The same goes for the attention you give to people. You need to treat your attention like it is worth something because it is. When people have social interactions they get a little dopamine hit. People crave attention and social interaction. If you make your attention easy to get they will get less of a dopamine hit because people don't value something that costs them nothing to obtain. Anyone can get attention from you. If you make it too hard they will stop trying and see you as arrogant. The key is calibration. You need to make your attention feel genuinely earned without making it impossible

It resembles a game of tennis. If you play against someone and win every time it gets boring, if you play against someone and lose every time it's not fun. You need to find the sweet spot by letting them win sometimes and lose sometimes..

If you have status or good looks your attention immediately gains value because you're an admirable person. Coming back to the tennis analogy most people wouldn't mind playing Novak Djokovic even if they lose all the time because he is one of the best and therefore playing a game of tennis with him is worth a lot.

p.s. Don't take this too seriously if you have no problems with social interactions. I have mild autism and struggle with this.
Lmk if I should make a more detailed thread

Spoiler: Tag

@Ladiesman217 @vamp @genio @Apollonius @Canthopexular can someone tag @Aurelius74 ? I can't seem to tag him

wise man

 

[LiterallyNarcissus]

A famous Chinese proverb goes like this. ''A small measure of rice earns gratitude, a large measure earns resentment. When you give a starving man a little rice he'll thank you. Give a starving man a lot of rice every day and it quietly stops being a gift and he expects it.''
When something arrives reliably, the moment it disappears you're not missed.

The same goes for the attention you give to people. You need to treat your attention like it is worth something because it is. When people have social interactions they get a little dopamine hit. People crave attention and social interaction. If you make your attention easy to get they will get less of a dopamine hit because people don't value something that costs them nothing to obtain. Anyone can get attention from you. If you make it too hard they will stop trying and see you as arrogant. The key is calibration. You need to make your attention feel genuinely earned without making it impossible

It resembles a game of tennis. If you play against someone and win every time it gets boring, if you play against someone and lose every time it's not fun. You need to find the sweet spot by letting them win sometimes and lose sometimes..

If you have status or good looks your attention immediately gains value because you're an admirable person. Coming back to the tennis analogy most people wouldn't mind playing Novak Djokovic even if they lose all the time because he is one of the best and therefore playing a game of tennis with him is worth a lot.

p.s. Don't take this too seriously if you have no problems with social interactions. I have mild autism and struggle with this.
Lmk if I should make a more detailed thread

Spoiler: Tag

@Ladiesman217 @vamp @genio @Apollonius @Canthopexular can someone tag @Aurelius74 ? I can't seem to tag him

Nice thread. High iq for tagging me

 

[RedishH3ro]

Nice thread. High iq for tagging me

Im working on a high effort thread going really deep into this. Ill tag you there as well.

 

[Deleted Member 130731]

I agree with all of that. You should focus your attention on the first interactions as a basic form of respect, at least until you get to know each person better. But it doesn’t make sense to keep investing in people who don’t see you in a reciprocal way. That’s why I don’t really believe in the idea of “winning someone over” in a relationship. If the person doesn’t feel any physical or sexual attraction toward you, then it’s just wishful thinking to keep insisting; the only one who ends up getting hurt is you, because you start fantasizing about someone who gets attention from plenty of other people and doesn’t see you as a potential partner.

Effort and attention need to go toward something worthwhile, and that only really happens when you respect yourself and know where you stand

 

[LiterallyNarcissus]

Im working on a high effort thread going really deep into this. Ill tag you there as well.

Goood