A famous Chinese proverb goes like this. ''A small measure of rice earns gratitude, a large measure earns resentment. When you give a starving man a little rice he'll thank you. Give a starving man a lot of rice every day and it quietly stops being a gift and he expects it.''
When something arrives reliably, the moment it disappears you're not missed.
The same goes for the attention you give to people. You need to treat your attention like it is worth something because it is. When people have social interactions they get a little dopamine hit. People crave attention and social interaction. If you make your attention easy to get they will get less of a dopamine hit because people don't value something that costs them nothing to obtain. Anyone can get attention from you. If you make it too hard they will stop trying and see you as arrogant. The key is calibration. You need to make your attention feel genuinely earned without making it impossible
It resembles a game of tennis. If you play against someone and win every time it gets boring, if you play against someone and lose every time it's not fun. You need to find the sweet spot by letting them win sometimes and lose sometimes..
If you have status or good looks your attention immediately gains value because you're an admirable person. Coming back to the tennis analogy most people wouldn't mind playing Novak Djokovic even if they lose all the time because he is one of the best and therefore playing a game of tennis with him is worth a lot.
p.s. Don't take this too seriously if you have no problems with social interactions. I have mild autism and struggle with this.
Lmk if I should make a more detailed thread
When something arrives reliably, the moment it disappears you're not missed.
The same goes for the attention you give to people. You need to treat your attention like it is worth something because it is. When people have social interactions they get a little dopamine hit. People crave attention and social interaction. If you make your attention easy to get they will get less of a dopamine hit because people don't value something that costs them nothing to obtain. Anyone can get attention from you. If you make it too hard they will stop trying and see you as arrogant. The key is calibration. You need to make your attention feel genuinely earned without making it impossible
It resembles a game of tennis. If you play against someone and win every time it gets boring, if you play against someone and lose every time it's not fun. You need to find the sweet spot by letting them win sometimes and lose sometimes..
If you have status or good looks your attention immediately gains value because you're an admirable person. Coming back to the tennis analogy most people wouldn't mind playing Novak Djokovic even if they lose all the time because he is one of the best and therefore playing a game of tennis with him is worth a lot.
p.s. Don't take this too seriously if you have no problems with social interactions. I have mild autism and struggle with this.
Lmk if I should make a more detailed thread
@Ladiesman217 @vamp @genio @Apollonius @Canthopexular can someone tag @Aurelius74 ? I can't seem to tag him
