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A Detailed Guide to Becoming More Social
The First Part: What Does “Not Social” Actually Mean?
Being quiet, introverted, or enjoying solitude isn’t automatically a problem.
HERE ARE THE THINGS THAT MIGHT SET U BACK THE MOST (i might miss some areas this is for the com community not some normal NT)
1. Naturally introverted
You enjoy people but need significant time alone afterward. You aren’t necessarily afraid of people this is probably the most common one.
Main goal: learn social skills without trying to change your personality.
2. Socially inexperienced
You want to socialize but simply haven’t had much practice, this is the easiest one to overcome i’d say.
Common signs:
* You don’t know how/what to say.
* Conversations become awkward quickly.
* You don’t know how to approach people.
* You overthink basic interactions.
* You have difficulty making friendships because you haven’t learned to socialize.
Main solution: repeated practice.
3. Socially anxious
You want to interact but fear embarrassment, rejection, judgment, or looking stupid this one i see this one alot in .com people tell me this is their biggest problem thats why im making this guide.
Common signs of being antisocial/asocial
* Avoiding eye contact (normal
* Rehearsing conversations beforehand (not normal)
* Going blank while talking (not normal girls dont like this)
* Constantly analyzing what you said (i mean come on dude just be confident if you fucked up so be it)
* Avoiding parties, dating, groups, or speaking (normal who cares about parties anyways)
* Feeling physically anxious around people (you should walk into any place with confidence not anxiety)
a social anxiety disorder can involve intense fear of being judged and avoidance of social situations.
Main solution: CBT (Cognitive behavioral therapy) + gradual exposure + social practice, theres also medications for such things like this
4. Social withdrawal caused by another problem
Sometimes reduced socialization is a symptom rather than the primary problem.
Possible contributors include:
* Depression
* Chronic stress
* Poor sleep
* Substance use
* Excessive alcohol use
* Certain medications
* Anxiety disorders
* ADHD-related difficulties
* Major life changes
* Low confidence
* Loneliness
* Excessive internet/gaming/social-media use
* Medical problems
5. Perfectionism
Some people think every interaction needs to go perfectly (it doesn’t)
This is what they think they need:
* A perfect opening
* Perfect humor
* Perfect eye contact
* Perfect body language
* Perfect stories
* Perfect responses
NOW will perfection happen? No never im writing under this problem specifically because many users believe one mistake is ruining everything, and no thats not how it goes stop worrying so hard about everything going right sometimes something has to go wrong for you to learn.
Here are some things com users think that set them back from interacting
* Appearance
* Intelligence
* Social status
* Money
* Height
* Clothing
* (How brutal huh)
How to make sure a convo goes well
Give the other person attention
Thinking solely about yourself and how YOU are doing wont leave space for thinking about the other person and how they might biew the conversation.
Example: this is thinking about yourself
How am I coming across?
Example: this is thinking about whoever you might be talking to
Who is this person, and what can I learn about them?
6. Previous Negative Experiences
Examples:
* Bullying
* Rejection
* Being laughed at
* Being excluded
* Humiliation
* Difficult experiences
* Bad relationships
* Public embarrassment
Your brain can automatically assume that anytime you interact something bad will happen (if you have had bad experiences in the past) now i say get over this honestly everyone has an embarrassing moment this should be one of the ones you try to overcome life goes on brah.
7. Isolation
Isolation is and can become self reinforcing
Heres how it goes
You stay home- fewer interactions -social skills? Out the window- interactions feel harder- natural avoidance = avoiding antisocial AND isolated
The answer isn’t necessarily to suddenly become extremely social.
gradually reintroduce interactions.
For example:
-say hello to people.
-make brief small talk.
-spark up a convo (sneak your way into one if u have to)
-try and participate in a class activity or work activity whichever you do
MORE THINGS TO LEARN/DO
Easiest to hardest
1. Make tiny interactions just a hey how are you every now and then builds confidence overtime.
2. A short convo (close to what #1 is except here is more than a hello you should be asking actual questions getting to know them or atleast try)
3. You should learn to 50/50 a convo (nobody likes being talked over) talk and listen if they talk alot then its okay to be a listener make them feel comfortable and at home let them tell you how they feel this is how TRUE bonds are built talking over a talkative person builds a tension inbetween you and you don’t want that as you are trying to make friends and be social not have a ego battle because you wanted to talk over someone
4. Dont try to impress people the last person Anyone wants to make a friend with is that guy constantly trying to embarrass them infront of other people (come on this is lame asf leave this shit for the performative highschool kids)
5. Work on follow ups, the convo wont keep going sometimes theres a pause or a stop if you don’t say something when that does happen they could be inclined on jumping out of the conversation as it seems like you don’t want to talk with them.
6. This ones important, learning how to handle awkwardness there will be awkward moments not everytime will things go smooth but ultimately this is how you learn.
I DONT THINK YOU SHOULD BE USING DRUGS FOR THIS I ADVISE YOU TO TRY WITHOUT ANY BUT IF NOT HERE ARE DRUGS THAT COULD HELP
Benzodiazepines
Examples include:
* Alprazolam
* Lorazepam
* Clonazepam
GREAT for anxiety rapid results but as always be cautious
Beta Blockers
This is more like a physical fix it fixes trembling and sweating things of that nature
SNRIS
Serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors
this is for anxiety disorders
They affect serotonin and norepinephrine signaling.
SSRIs
Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors
Here are some of them
* Sertraline
* Escitalopram
* Paroxetine
* Fluoxetine
SSRIs=long term
Benzodiazepines=more rapid and extreme
that concludes it for this guide im done with the writing part i’d color this but nobody cares about seeing a rainbow guide.
The First Part: What Does “Not Social” Actually Mean?
Being quiet, introverted, or enjoying solitude isn’t automatically a problem.
HERE ARE THE THINGS THAT MIGHT SET U BACK THE MOST (i might miss some areas this is for the com community not some normal NT)
1. Naturally introverted
You enjoy people but need significant time alone afterward. You aren’t necessarily afraid of people this is probably the most common one.
Main goal: learn social skills without trying to change your personality.
2. Socially inexperienced
You want to socialize but simply haven’t had much practice, this is the easiest one to overcome i’d say.
Common signs:
* You don’t know how/what to say.
* Conversations become awkward quickly.
* You don’t know how to approach people.
* You overthink basic interactions.
* You have difficulty making friendships because you haven’t learned to socialize.
Main solution: repeated practice.
3. Socially anxious
You want to interact but fear embarrassment, rejection, judgment, or looking stupid this one i see this one alot in .com people tell me this is their biggest problem thats why im making this guide.
Common signs of being antisocial/asocial
* Avoiding eye contact (normal
* Rehearsing conversations beforehand (not normal)
* Going blank while talking (not normal girls dont like this)
* Constantly analyzing what you said (i mean come on dude just be confident if you fucked up so be it)
* Avoiding parties, dating, groups, or speaking (normal who cares about parties anyways)
* Feeling physically anxious around people (you should walk into any place with confidence not anxiety)
a social anxiety disorder can involve intense fear of being judged and avoidance of social situations.
Main solution: CBT (Cognitive behavioral therapy) + gradual exposure + social practice, theres also medications for such things like this
4. Social withdrawal caused by another problem
Sometimes reduced socialization is a symptom rather than the primary problem.
Possible contributors include:
* Depression
* Chronic stress
* Poor sleep
* Substance use
* Excessive alcohol use
* Certain medications
* Anxiety disorders
* ADHD-related difficulties
* Major life changes
* Low confidence
* Loneliness
* Excessive internet/gaming/social-media use
* Medical problems
5. Perfectionism
Some people think every interaction needs to go perfectly (it doesn’t)
This is what they think they need:
* A perfect opening
* Perfect humor
* Perfect eye contact
* Perfect body language
* Perfect stories
* Perfect responses
NOW will perfection happen? No never im writing under this problem specifically because many users believe one mistake is ruining everything, and no thats not how it goes stop worrying so hard about everything going right sometimes something has to go wrong for you to learn.
Here are some things com users think that set them back from interacting
* Appearance
* Intelligence
* Social status
* Money
* Height
* Clothing
* (How brutal huh)
How to make sure a convo goes well
Give the other person attention
Thinking solely about yourself and how YOU are doing wont leave space for thinking about the other person and how they might biew the conversation.
Example: this is thinking about yourself
How am I coming across?
Example: this is thinking about whoever you might be talking to
Who is this person, and what can I learn about them?
6. Previous Negative Experiences
Examples:
* Bullying
* Rejection
* Being laughed at
* Being excluded
* Humiliation
* Difficult experiences
* Bad relationships
* Public embarrassment
Your brain can automatically assume that anytime you interact something bad will happen (if you have had bad experiences in the past) now i say get over this honestly everyone has an embarrassing moment this should be one of the ones you try to overcome life goes on brah.
7. Isolation
Isolation is and can become self reinforcing
Heres how it goes
You stay home- fewer interactions -social skills? Out the window- interactions feel harder- natural avoidance = avoiding antisocial AND isolated
The answer isn’t necessarily to suddenly become extremely social.
gradually reintroduce interactions.
For example:
-say hello to people.
-make brief small talk.
-spark up a convo (sneak your way into one if u have to)
-try and participate in a class activity or work activity whichever you do
MORE THINGS TO LEARN/DO
Easiest to hardest
1. Make tiny interactions just a hey how are you every now and then builds confidence overtime.
2. A short convo (close to what #1 is except here is more than a hello you should be asking actual questions getting to know them or atleast try)
3. You should learn to 50/50 a convo (nobody likes being talked over) talk and listen if they talk alot then its okay to be a listener make them feel comfortable and at home let them tell you how they feel this is how TRUE bonds are built talking over a talkative person builds a tension inbetween you and you don’t want that as you are trying to make friends and be social not have a ego battle because you wanted to talk over someone
4. Dont try to impress people the last person Anyone wants to make a friend with is that guy constantly trying to embarrass them infront of other people (come on this is lame asf leave this shit for the performative highschool kids)
5. Work on follow ups, the convo wont keep going sometimes theres a pause or a stop if you don’t say something when that does happen they could be inclined on jumping out of the conversation as it seems like you don’t want to talk with them.
6. This ones important, learning how to handle awkwardness there will be awkward moments not everytime will things go smooth but ultimately this is how you learn.
I DONT THINK YOU SHOULD BE USING DRUGS FOR THIS I ADVISE YOU TO TRY WITHOUT ANY BUT IF NOT HERE ARE DRUGS THAT COULD HELP
Benzodiazepines
Examples include:
* Alprazolam
* Lorazepam
* Clonazepam
GREAT for anxiety rapid results but as always be cautious
Beta Blockers
This is more like a physical fix it fixes trembling and sweating things of that nature
SNRIS
Serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors
this is for anxiety disorders
They affect serotonin and norepinephrine signaling.
SSRIs
Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors
Here are some of them
* Sertraline
* Escitalopram
* Paroxetine
* Fluoxetine
SSRIs=long term
Benzodiazepines=more rapid and extreme
that concludes it for this guide im done with the writing part i’d color this but nobody cares about seeing a rainbow guide.
i didn’t think anyone would care
