the mirror

[prettybird]

I don’t know if anyone else has experienced this, but for the first time since my soft maxxing journey I have finally started feeling desired. And yet I don’t think I like it. Being ugly is kind of like a sheet of invisibility in public. People rarely want to stare at someone who they deem doesn’t reach a certain looks threshold. Now I understand what it’s like to have people lightly flirt with you or to even want to hang out just because. This is a big change as I went through a lot of life without being liked for mundane reasons and having my accomplishments be severely underplayed because I didn’t look that good. Now, people have started being nice to me without any reason and it’s making me suspicious.


By no means am I saying that I look amazing now, but I don’t recognize myself in the mirror anymore. It’s difficult to think of myself as the same girl as before when I’m really not treated like her anymore. That begins to be a problem when I start talking about how I perceive myself- now when I think the same thoughts I had before they aren’t socially acceptable and I get made fun of for the opposite reason.

I’d always be the butt of the joke, people only asked me out to reject me on purpose, or quite literally used me for homework answers which is embarrassing.

I guess my question is what exactly in my journey should I focus on now? I know rationally that I’m not as ugly as before but I still FEEL like the same person. How do I fix my brain fighting with itself trying to determine if I’m hideous or not?

i was going to provide pictures but I don’t want to look at that right now lol

 

[Darkeningstar]

You are ugly

 

[prettybird]

You are ugly

I know you’re not talking casper

 

[Blackpillirony]

I don’t know if anyone else has experienced this, but for the first time since my soft maxxing journey I have finally started feeling desired. Being ugly is kind of like a sheet of invisibility in public. People rarely want to stare at someone who they deem doesn’t reach a certain looks threshold. Now I understand what it’s like to have people lightly flirt with you or to even want to hang out just because. This is a big change as I went through a lot of life without being liked for mundane reasons and having my accomplishments be severely underplayed because I didn’t look that good. Now, people have started being nice to me without any reason and it’s making me suspicious.


By no means am I saying that I look amazing now, but I don’t recognize myself in the mirror anymore. It’s difficult to think of myself as the same girl as before when I’m really not treated like her anymore. That begins to be a problem when I start talking about how I perceive myself- now when I think the same thoughts I had before they aren’t socially acceptable and I get made fun of for the opposite reason.

I’d always be the butt of the joke, people only asked me out to reject me on purpose, or quite literally used me for homework answers which is embarrassing.

I guess my question is what exactly in my journey should I focus on now? I know rationally that I’m not as ugly as before but I still FEEL like the same person. How do I fix my brain fighting with itself trying to determine if I’m hideous or not?

i was going to provide pictures but I don’t want to look at that right now lol

Good luck boyo

 

[prettybird]

Good luck boyo

Thank you I need it because it’s gotten fairly annoying to others

 

[prettybird]

You are ugly

On second thought it would bring me no greater pleasure than for you to think that way: at least I didn’t peak at fifteen and spend my remaining ten years chasing the high of feeling wanted by vulnerable girls on the internet since you can’t bag a lady in real life with that shitty ass personality

 

[Love]

summarize it

 

[giga.mia]

summarize it

I think she’s just saying she still feels ugly because she used to be ugly and it feels foreign having ppl treat her differently now. Happens to most of us.

 

[prettybird]

summarize it

Sorry forgot my target audience

 

[prettybird]

I think she’s just saying she still feels ugly because she used to be ugly and it feels foreign having ppl treat her differently now. Happens to most of us.

Beautiful thank you, I appreciate it

 

[Love]

I think she’s just saying she still feels ugly because she used to be ugly and it feels foreign having ppl treat her differently now. Happens to most of us.

oh she's good looking

 

[giga.mia]

oh she's good looking

Tell that to her my friend

 

[Love]

@prettybird you're just a pretty bird

 

[pxe]

On second thought it would bring me no greater pleasure than for you to think that way: at least I didn’t peak at fifteen and spend my remaining ten years chasing the high of feeling wanted by vulnerable girls on the internet since you can’t bag a lady in real life with that shitty ass personality

 

[Deleted Member 62079]

On second thought it would bring me no greater pleasure than for you to think that way: at least I didn’t peak at fifteen and spend my remaining ten years chasing the high of feeling wanted by vulnerable girls on the internet since you can’t bag a lady in real life with that shitty ass personality

 

[Deleted Member 62079]

View attachment 194479

Shit was beautiful

 

[prettybird]

@prettybird you're just a pretty bird

Thanks incel you’re a sweetheart

 

[prettybird]

View attachment 194479

he wanted mean I’ll give him mean

 

[Randomized Shame]

How do I fix my brain fighting with itself trying to determine if I’m hideous or not?

Time probably.

Whether or not you were "ugly" previously is not really my place to make commentary about, but you had a lot of external validation (or what you felt like was) consistently reinforcing the idea that you might've been. The only way to unlearn something that might've took years to reinforce is time. Even if people were 10x nicer to you, it's hard to unlearn something that's only been happening recently.

Reminding yourself it wasn't "your" fault you were treated that way, it was people's misunderstanding of you, may help besides just giving it enough time. Normally with reinfornced behavior like this, we have a tendency to internalize the negativity to try and make it seem like we had some control in something that we didn't really. Or at least I do sometimes.