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I actually make myself so fucking miserable, just because my dad is an autistic scumbag who never got therapy for the shit he went through he couldn’t even be a normal dad, it’s just so hard to explain the way he is, he’s not to blame for anything, if he did anything wrong, no he didn’t?. it drives me crazy, I don’t want to associate with him, he’s violent, calls me a bunch of names if I call him out, I don’t even consider him my dad, and there’s a few other things that I won’t get into but u get the point.
I get so worked up over it, because partly my future in his hands and he’s being wreckless and careless, he was only a good dad when I was a little kid, now he’s just a joke, i have this wall built up against him for years, I know he loves me, but he has a strange way of showing it, I’m just very repulsed by him.
My therapist just says shit like “well thats good you are moving on” “thats good you are keeping boundaries up” “good job for not letting blah blah blah”
I know what I’m doing I’m not sure why I need you in my ring
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