What do u talk about with people when u don’t do anything?

[rand anon]

Yes! Put yourself out there have fun create new experiences

Guess that’s what it boils down toscary doing stuff alone maynnn

 

[giga.mia]

Guess that’s what it boils down toscary doing stuff alone maynnn

You need to get outside your comfort zone

 

[rand anon]

You need to get outside your comfort zone

This old cat can’t learn new tricks

 

[giga.mia]

This old cat can’t learn new tricks

Yes he can, there are tricks out there he hasn’t even discovered yet that he’d love

 

[rand anon]

Yes he can, there are tricks out there he hasn’t even discovered yet that he’d love

 

[Methodical]

I'm usually just honest and say I didn't do much. Otherwise the best thing you can do is show you're receptive to them talking but that you won't have much to say. When someone talks to me, I smile a lot, show I'm engaged, respond positively, tease them a bit etc, but when they ask about me I'm usually reserved. Sometimes I say "I'm interested in hearing you talk about this, I'm sorry if I come off like I'm not, I'm just an awkward person" or something. They end up talking to me about random stuff all the time and they no longer expect me to engage about myself. It's nice when people come up to you to randomly talk about something but don't make you feel pressured to respond. But you usually have to be honest about it ngl. If people don't respond kindly to your honesty then it's probably not worth the energy anyways.

 

[rand anon]

I'm usually just honest and say I didn't do much. Otherwise the best thing you can do is show you're receptive to them talking but that you won't have much to say. When someone talks to me, I smile a lot, show I'm engaged, respond positively, tease them a bit etc, but when they ask about me I'm usually reserved. Sometimes I say "I'm interested in hearing you talk about this, I'm sorry if I come off like I'm not, I'm just an awkward person" or something.

Fuarrrk hella low inhib, mirin

Yeah I could try to do that, the only thing that concerns me is how they’d take. Like not like I particularly care if they somehow take it the wrong way or anything, but cause it might make things harder for me if I need to maintain relations with them. In this instance, coworkers

They end up talking to me about random stuff all the time and they no longer expect me to engage about myself. It's nice when people come up to you to randomly talk about something but don't make you feel pressured to respond. But you usually have to be honest about it ngl. If people don't respond kindly to your honesty then it's probably not worth the energy anyways.

Yeah makes sense

Do u think this approach is just good for small talk amongst acquaintances/coworkers etc or could it also be good for pursuing friendships?

 

[Methodical]

Fuarrrk hella low inhib, mirin

Yeah I could try to do that, the only thing that concerns me is how they’d take. Like not like I particularly care if they somehow take it the wrong way or anything, but cause it might make things harder for me if I need to maintain relations with them. In this instance, coworkers

Yeah makes sense

Do u think this approach is just good for small talk amongst acquaintances/coworkers etc or could it also be good for pursuing friendships?

I've used it for both and it's honestly been successful every time. You will eventually be able to gauge who it'd work on and who it won't. Like if I don't really like someone, I'm not going to be giving them the impression I'm more interested than I actually am. I'll just nod and go "Alright" or something. Not rude outright but you get the point.

The most recent example I have is a co-worker was talking to me about her recent dates. I'm a married man, and I was an incel before my wife, so none of it is actually that interesting to me or applicable to me lmfao like I can't talk about in-depth experiences I had dating outside of my wife because I didn't really have any. But I gave reassurance when it came up ("I'm not sure if you care," "I do care" as an example) and I texted her after a while saying she should keep me updated on what happens because I'm curious to know. This turned a co-worker I never spoke personally with to her asking my sister when I come into work next because she wants to talk to me.

I did not engage a lot with the actual conversation itself, just kinda generic responses, but the primary point was I showed I was engaged indirectly (smiling, nodding, asking follow up questions "Does that bother you?" etc) and then I just directly told her I was engaged because I knew I probably came off awkward in real life. Most people (especially younger people) will respond positively to that. I gave her no reason to ever want to talk to me again after that other than I was honest I wanted an update.

In regards of friendships, it's pretty good in the beginning of your friendships when they're trying to figure out what kinda person you are. After you're close with someone you won't really need to explain yourself like that anymore. If they know you're awkward then they won't view your awkwardness as you not wanting to talk to them, they'll view it as you being awkward, y'know? Which is better because it's the truth.

 

[Luffy]

Side note, today a milf parent told me for the second time that she likes my hair so that’s a highlight

Save some milfs for us maynnne

 

[rand anon]

I've used it for both and it's honestly been successful every time. You will eventually be able to gauge who it'd work on and who it won't. Like if I don't really like someone, I'm not going to be giving them the impression I'm more interested than I actually am. I'll just nod and go "Alright" or something. Not rude outright but you get the point.

I suppose the hard part for me is gonna be me being afraid of gauging incorrectly and not implementing it at all. Have u ever had someone take it wrongly? How did u deal with it if so

The most recent example I have is a co-worker was talking to me about her recent dates. I'm a married man, and I was an incel before my wife, so none of it is actually that interesting to me or applicable to me lmfao like I can't talk about in-depth experiences I had dating outside of my wife because I didn't really have any. But I gave reassurance when it came up ("I'm not sure if you care," "I do care" as an example) and I texted her after a while saying she should keep me updated on what happens because I'm curious to know. This turned a co-worker I never spoke personally with to her asking my sister when I come into work next because she wants to talk to me.

I did not engage a lot with the actual conversation itself, just kinda generic responses, but the primary point was I showed I was engaged indirectly (smiling, nodding, asking follow up questions "Does that bother you?" etc) and then I just directly told her I was engaged because I knew I probably came off awkward in real life. Most people (especially younger people) will respond positively to that. I gave her no reason to ever want to talk to me again after that other than I was honest I wanted an update.

In regards of friendships, it's pretty good in the beginning of your friendships when they're trying to figure out what kinda person you are. After you're close with someone you won't really need to explain yourself like that anymore. If they know you're awkward then they won't view your awkwardness as you not wanting to talk to them, they'll view it as you being awkward, y'know? Which is better because it's the truth.

Interesting, interesting. Yeah being that honest and upfront about being awkward, a lack of many experiences etc, is definitely gonna be new to me. I usually try to avoid talking about these things as much as possible with others, cause, on top of potentially changing my dynamic with them and making things even worse, it also makes me feel pathetic. But I suppose that’s the wrong mentality