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idk why but the other day i was sat waiting for a train and it hit me that i dont enjoy a single thing in my life
not even on some depressed shit, i just had a sudden introspection that nothing in my life brings me joy, even stuff as simple as going out with friends
i dont feel like replying to texts from family, friends, situationships etc etc i just have no motivation to and wish i could just not have to interact with them, i still obviously want to talk to them in a way, its just being in contact with people is such a burden but i think thats a common feeling
posting tiktoks on my main was something i had fun doing, coming up with ideas that i thought were funny then bringing them to life was enjoyable but now thinking about my account just fills me with dread, bc even tho i want to do content creation long term and have already got a decent following, somehow ive lost the confidence i always had and although im still gonna post on (all) my accounts i dont think im gonna go far with it
it was like i had an epiphany that everything im doing in my life was noise to distract me from the fact that ive either done nothing with myself, or that nothing im doing actually makes me feel, and that if did more shit i would forget that fact
im not really of much value, ive done nothing to be proud of, im broke, my future isnt really looking bright, i dont do anything productive and im not really a standout brother/son/friend
the only thing thats actually given me enjoyment since the day i realised this is going gym and dieting A) because i just feel accomplished after a disciplined day, but also B) im seeing results facially and in my physique, but other than those two things nothing hits
doing some chores? watching youtube? cooking? chilling on .com? i get nothing from it. i think im just gonna gymcel for the rest of the summer its the only thing that makes me happy atp
its weird bc the second before this realisation if you asked me smth like "do you enjoy making tiktoks" for example, i would've said yes adamantly, but i dislike everything now and feel so much pressure but thats another story
theres some more stuff i could say but i cant think of them rn + this thread is already a yapfest
not even on some depressed shit, i just had a sudden introspection that nothing in my life brings me joy, even stuff as simple as going out with friends
i dont feel like replying to texts from family, friends, situationships etc etc i just have no motivation to and wish i could just not have to interact with them, i still obviously want to talk to them in a way, its just being in contact with people is such a burden but i think thats a common feeling
posting tiktoks on my main was something i had fun doing, coming up with ideas that i thought were funny then bringing them to life was enjoyable but now thinking about my account just fills me with dread, bc even tho i want to do content creation long term and have already got a decent following, somehow ive lost the confidence i always had and although im still gonna post on (all) my accounts i dont think im gonna go far with it
it was like i had an epiphany that everything im doing in my life was noise to distract me from the fact that ive either done nothing with myself, or that nothing im doing actually makes me feel, and that if did more shit i would forget that fact
im not really of much value, ive done nothing to be proud of, im broke, my future isnt really looking bright, i dont do anything productive and im not really a standout brother/son/friend
the only thing thats actually given me enjoyment since the day i realised this is going gym and dieting A) because i just feel accomplished after a disciplined day, but also B) im seeing results facially and in my physique, but other than those two things nothing hits
doing some chores? watching youtube? cooking? chilling on .com? i get nothing from it. i think im just gonna gymcel for the rest of the summer its the only thing that makes me happy atp
its weird bc the second before this realisation if you asked me smth like "do you enjoy making tiktoks" for example, i would've said yes adamantly, but i dislike everything now and feel so much pressure but thats another story
theres some more stuff i could say but i cant think of them rn + this thread is already a yapfest
