Why is it when you show less interest in a person, they seem more invested?

[000x6:::]

It's very strange to me. If you give an individual your full undivided attention, affection, or rambles of interested, they stray. However, if you behave a little more dry, distant, or chat less, they engage more, seem happier to chat and lift you up. Even behave in a manner seeming as if they want to impress you, create joy.

Such an odd thing to witness.

 

[Epic09]

yep

 

[dontcallthemfoidsbro]

People fear to lose you, even when deep inside they dont perceive you as quite worth the effort. Kind of like hoarders who have a cluttered house because they keep everything, they fear throwing things away just incase they might need it one day.

 

[Luffy]

yep

Insightful response as usual

 

[chinese cigarette]

Inconsistent attention from parents growing up Sometimes

 

[Epic09]

Insightful response as usual

im so smort

 

[Venus]

This has literally happened to me so much its annoying
But i do get the psychology behind it kinda
there’s people with anxious attachment (ones that cling the more u distance urself) and then avoidant attachment (ones that distance themselves the more u cling)
Theres also people that switch between the two depending on how ur acting

 

[aacaitomatoess]

i think when u act uninterested or nonchalant it comes off as confident or like superior like idk how to explain but its like u dont need them cuz ur somewhat better or cooler than them/everyone else which makes them put in more efforts to impress u so they can validate themselves with ur attention this is my opinion tho idk

 

[HelvetAyegba]

It's very strange to me. If you give an individual your full undivided attention, affection, or rambles of interested, they stray. However, if you behave a little more dry, distant, or chat less, they engage more, seem happier to chat and lift you up. Even behave in a manner seeming as if they want to impress you, create joy.

Such an odd thing to witness.

That’s basically the push-pull dynamic. When you give someone constant attention, there’s no tension or uncertainty, so they have less incentive to pursue. Pull back a little and become less available, and suddenly they feel the need to re-engage, impress you, or win your attention again.

 

[fluoxetine]

It's very strange to me. If you give an individual your full undivided attention, affection, or rambles of interested, they stray. However, if you behave a little more dry, distant, or chat less, they engage more, seem happier to chat and lift you up. Even behave in a manner seeming as if they want to impress you, create joy.

Such an odd thing to witness.

In my experience of people like this, they’ve had absent father figures who were also seemingly uninterested in their lives. When you do this it subconsciously reminds their brain of their dad so they try and get your attention. I think it’s the brain coping with the absence of their father TBH.

 

[Bliss_Fieldss]

It's very strange to me. If you give an individual your full undivided attention, affection, or rambles of interested, they stray. However, if you behave a little more dry, distant, or chat less, they engage more, seem happier to chat and lift you up. Even behave in a manner seeming as if they want to impress you, create joy.

Such an odd thing to witness.

People that cant make up their mind