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will it ever change

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it never will
i dont even feel like i deserve my boyfriends love
let alone open up to him
about anything like this

i hope you get better
If he doesn't accept you for you then why
 
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Been in my consciousness as long as I can remember so I’m guessing we won’t see a change.
 
Been in my consciousness as long as I can remember so I’m guessing we won’t see a change.
nothing even feel real
i feel like
my mental me is me
my physical body
is just a simulator my mind plays
nothing is real
 
nothing even feel real
i feel like
my mental me is me
my physical body
is just a simulator my mind plays
nothing is real
Derealization, been living like this for years now so I know exactly what you’re talking about it. I hate it and I’m scared I won’t be able to truly feel the joy of a present moment ever again
 
Derealization, been living like this for years now so I know exactly what you’re talking about it. I hate it and I’m scared I won’t be able to truly feel the joy of a present moment ever again
exactly finally someone who understands
i say this and people look at me like im a faking ass trying to get attention
i find myself trying to feel real and remember the moment when i am happy
it never works
i dont feel it or remember it anyways
but the pain and sadness are unrealistically real somehow
i fucking hate this
i hate this
 
exactly finally someone who understands
i say this and people look at me like im a faking ass trying to get attention
i find myself trying to feel real and remember the moment when i am happy
it never works
i dont feel it or remember it anyways
but the pain and sadness are unrealistically real somehow
i fucking hate this
i hate this
I relate to this heavily, unfortunate that it has to be like this for you and I truly wish I had something in mind I could refer as advice but I have nothing.
Even the best moments that should be fun and exciting isn’t. It’s hard to live in the present moment it all feels like a dream almost.
 
I relate to this heavily, unfortunate that it has to be like this for you and I truly wish I had something in mind I could refer as advice but I have nothing.
Even the best moments that should be fun and exciting isn’t. It’s hard to live in the present moment it all feels like a dream almost.
real lazerdim
i just wish time could go slower
only when im drunk
but then id also be unfunctional
i feel like the only way out is death
i always say i want to kill myself but i just want this to stop
its all futile
 
real lazerdim
i just wish time could go slower
only when im drunk
but then id also be unfunctional
i feel like the only way out is death
i always say i want to kill myself but i just want this to stop
its all futile
The way you mention about wanting time to go slower is extremely real, I feel like the days fly by and I’m not even doing anything, I’m just existing.
I also feel and have felt like ending it for a while since this is like living in a nightmare, it’s like I’m already dead since I’m not properly living the life I was promised.
 
The way you mention about wanting time to go slower is extremely real, I feel like the days fly by and I’m not even doing anything, I’m just existing.
I also feel and have felt like ending it for a while since this is like living in a nightmare, it’s like I’m already dead since I’m not properly living the life I was promised.
you are real to the point you sound like chatgpt when i vent to it
like exactly i died some while ago but the sun kept rising in "my world" ykwim????
i dont want to sink into unhealthy coping mechanisms
but whatelse bruah
 
you are real to the point you sound like chatgpt when i vent to it
like exactly i died some while ago but the sun kept rising in "my world" ykwim????
i dont want to sink into unhealthy coping mechanisms
but whatelse bruah
Me neither brah. I’m just a body that can move and nothing more.
I’ve done and tried everything to make it better but nothing works.
I know from my side this is because of past trauma, fucked up shit that had happened as well as anxiety.
 
Me neither brah. I’m just a body that can move and nothing more.
I’ve done and tried everything to make it better but nothing works.
I know from my side this is because of past trauma, fucked up shit that had happened as well as anxiety.
same i think trauma really fucked me up
it just happens again and again and i just feel wose and then i just end up not feeling shit even though i really do
i didnt do anything to deserve this
but i hope theres a next life
maybe i would grow up happy

everday pass without me realising
and i just do nothing then get wasted at night by drinking or whatever
then i get this surge of motivation
just to repeat the same shit the next day
 
same i think trauma really fucked me up
it just happens again and again and i just feel wose and then i just end up not feeling shit even though i really do
i didnt do anything to deserve this
but i hope theres a next life
maybe i would grow up happy

everday pass without me realising
and i just do nothing then get wasted at night by drinking or whatever
then i get this surge of motivation
just to repeat the same shit the next day
It’s like speaking to myself it’s crazy.
None of us deserve this shit and I truly pray for us to get better man, it’s like a comfort knowing you’ve found someone who goes through basically the same thing.
 
It’s like speaking to myself it’s crazy.
None of us deserve this shit and I truly pray for us to get better man, it’s like a comfort knowing you’ve found someone who goes through basically the same thing.
same i really promise myself to stop writing these dumb ass shit on here but
it feels good knowing people go through the same thing
because in real life it seems like im the only one living like this
and i just get that why me feeling

i wish we get better and live our best lives :cry:
 
same i really promise myself to stop writing these dumb ass shit on here but
it feels good knowing people go through the same thing
because in real life it seems like im the only one living like this
and i just get that why me feeling

i wish we get better and live our best lives :cry:
Sometimes you just gotta vent, I do that as well a lot on Reddit for example since I don’t have anyone else to speak with. A lot of trauma and fucked up shit forms a human being for the worse even if the things that has happened isn’t a fault of theirs.
 
Sometimes you just gotta vent, I do that as well a lot on Reddit for example since I don’t have anyone else to speak with. A lot of trauma and fucked up shit forms a human being for the worse even if the things that has happened isn’t a fault of theirs.
my brother just another me
i feel like no one really give a fuck irl, thats ok, but they dont even show basic sympathy
whenever i open up irl i just get hurt even more
trauma of mine was mostly from people i loved the most and shouldve love me the most
really hurts :((

and i realize i am becoming the people who hurt me
makes me hate myself more
 
my brother just another me
i feel like no one really give a fuck irl, thats ok, but they dont even show basic sympathy
whenever i open up irl i just get hurt even more
trauma of mine was mostly from people i loved the most and shouldve love me the most
really hurts :((

and i realize i am becoming the people who hurt me
makes me hate myself more
Unbelievably real. Nobody truly gives a fuck unfortunately if they can’t relate and put their selves in someone else’s perspective, which many can’t do when speaking about this subject, they don’t know what to say or how to act up on the situation which makes it hard for them, but speaking about their problems is no problem at all since everyone is selfish.
 
Unbelievably real. Nobody truly gives a fuck unfortunately if they can’t relate and put their selves in someone else’s perspective, which many can’t do when speaking about this subject, they don’t know what to say or how to act up on the situation which makes it hard for them, but speaking about their problems is no problem at all since everyone is selfish.
yeah its aweful. and its hard to find people who have the same experiences.

worst thing is they always say "just tell me its ok"
its not ok
they dont understand shit and think its my fault or get a negative impression of me even though its what OTHERS DID TO ME
i just want to do nothing all day long and die someday idc
 
yeah its aweful. and its hard to find people who have the same experiences.

worst thing is they always say "just tell me its ok"
its not ok
they dont understand shit and think its my fault or get a negative impression of me even though its what OTHERS DID TO ME
i just want to do nothing all day long and die someday idc
Truly, everyone just says the same bullshit I’ve heard 1000 times.
It literally feels like I’m going insane and I’m not sure on how long I can take this for
 
Truly, everyone just says the same bullshit I’ve heard 1000 times.
It literally feels like I’m going insane and I’m not sure on how long I can take this for
yeah
so i shut the fuck up since like
a few years ago
i want to die
 

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