ripjfk
Active member
- Joined
- Nov 25, 2025
- Messages
- 31
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Idk if this Is allowed here but I don’t know where to post this.
I know how bad this will sound, but I have this deep hatred in me for beautiful girls or girls who hang around conventionally attractive men and always talk about how hot men are. I have this superiority complex where I feel so much better for not fawning over men, and I find them shallow. If I hear girls talking about for example wanting tall guys or lightskins or muscle guys I get so angry and think about the hypocrisy and unfairness but not because I want men to choose me. It’s because I just get so angry that they can have that opinion and it’s normal (not that I would have or want that opinion ).
I want to have a crush without feeling creepy or hopeless.i just want to be able to have a crush and it’s the usual crush. I have a huge fantasy of being able to hang around boys and have them silently think about how hot I am, but I can’t, so I end up hating everyone involved in that culture. I get so angry inside. I hate it so much. I can’t watch anything to do with movies that have “bombshells” or a sex‑sell element as I just start thinking disgusting slut and if I see clips of girls hanging around guys like Clav, I feel my anger take over and I have to breathe. Those girls make me so angry I am not jealous of that part I just get so angry I can’t explain it I sometimes cry out of the anger.
It’s gotten so bad that I’ve started to pray to God that they get r***d. It’s so bad but I can’t help it it’s my initial reaction I just feel so strongly about it, I pray it happens to them by someone they find conventionally unattractive someone they see at the bottom of their internal social hierarchy so it hurts them more.
I don’t think I’m a misogynist. If a guy is disrespecting a woman, I’ll defend her, and I 100% believe in equal rights. I feel like this stems from jealousy, and I wish it would stop. I wish I’d stop longing for the life and the face I can’t have. I act like a baby and bottle this hatred up.
I know how bad this will sound, but I have this deep hatred in me for beautiful girls or girls who hang around conventionally attractive men and always talk about how hot men are. I have this superiority complex where I feel so much better for not fawning over men, and I find them shallow. If I hear girls talking about for example wanting tall guys or lightskins or muscle guys I get so angry and think about the hypocrisy and unfairness but not because I want men to choose me. It’s because I just get so angry that they can have that opinion and it’s normal (not that I would have or want that opinion ).
I want to have a crush without feeling creepy or hopeless.i just want to be able to have a crush and it’s the usual crush. I have a huge fantasy of being able to hang around boys and have them silently think about how hot I am, but I can’t, so I end up hating everyone involved in that culture. I get so angry inside. I hate it so much. I can’t watch anything to do with movies that have “bombshells” or a sex‑sell element as I just start thinking disgusting slut and if I see clips of girls hanging around guys like Clav, I feel my anger take over and I have to breathe. Those girls make me so angry I am not jealous of that part I just get so angry I can’t explain it I sometimes cry out of the anger.
It’s gotten so bad that I’ve started to pray to God that they get r***d. It’s so bad but I can’t help it it’s my initial reaction I just feel so strongly about it, I pray it happens to them by someone they find conventionally unattractive someone they see at the bottom of their internal social hierarchy so it hurts them more.
I don’t think I’m a misogynist. If a guy is disrespecting a woman, I’ll defend her, and I 100% believe in equal rights. I feel like this stems from jealousy, and I wish it would stop. I wish I’d stop longing for the life and the face I can’t have. I act like a baby and bottle this hatred up.