Since when was Kaari a psychoanalyst? Mind docta
Also its okay to have small wrists
I realize this, because if you masturbate as a male, that has homosexual implications, because you have a male's hand giving you manual pleasure
So small wrists and hands are less gay, ik you masturbate
as for the questions:
You mentioned that you were checking other student's study habits to determine that they worked harder than you yet you still surpassed them, boosting your ego. Do you think this urge to check in order to fulfill this uplift in ego has to do with insecurities regarding self-worth?
Were you valued or another influence caused you to find value via academic standards and intelligence as a child, and this was thus internalized? bravado mechanism, intellectual arrogance, projection of desires?
Do you feel that you compensate for your social isolation with ego development?
Why do you think you self-sabotage?
What are other coping or defense mechanisms you use that members on this forum have not identified?
Do you have any specific memories that haunt you? Maybe pertaining to family members or peers or adults in your life?
When did you feel most lonely in your life?
You seem to have a genuine desire for deep connection, posting many threads about intimate fantasies regarding women, filling a certain hole in your life, what caused this hole and the specific niche of women you desire?
Do you believe you will ever be happy, or if not happy, at least satisfied with life? Or are you already?
What's your biggest fear? Recurring nightmares, themes?
What do you hope for the future?
How do you react to genuine praise and criticism?
Do you seek challenge or avoid?
How would you say you respond to the success of others?
Maybe your apathy is a form of self-preservation; avoid wasting energy on things that "don't matter" or may hurt you, like social interactions.
You also said you feel no motivation to do an event unless it brings you pleasure, which sort of ties to your NEET lifestyle, do you think that this prioritization of pleasure seeking/self-gratification may be a way to cope and find meaning in life?
These questions are purposely loaded and make assumptions, if these assumptions are incorrect, contest them, and if they are true, then elaborate.