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I'm a mentalcel

Suicidal&Lonely2007

Suicidal&Lonely2007

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Jun 29, 2026
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Sometimes i look in the mirror or at pictures of hte past and i just realize im not subhuman enough to have my life be this shit. I'm 6 foot 4, facially lmtn-mmtn. I am not subhuman enough to be like this but i just fucking ended up never being able to fit in with a group of people. I tried multiple times, when i entered high school i tried, when i switched high schools i tried again, and when that year ended i tried again with another group. I just never was allowed into the in group and always was on the out group.

If i was NT and had been raised correctly in a normal family i would not be on here. I dont even know what to do now. Everybody makes friends in like fucking kindergarten or when they enter high school and then it seems they stay in that friend group forever. I dont have anything like that. Im just alone and now that all these years have passed im mentally behind. Im 2007 and 19 but really mentally im like 2009 and 16-17 right now. I never went to any parties, no experiences, just nothing. Last 3 years of my life since summer 2023 have just been alive but dead. And the years even before that had signs.
 
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Suicidal&Lonely2007 said:
Sometimes i look in the mirror or at pictures of hte past and i just realize im not subhuman enough to have my life be this shit. I'm 6 foot 4, facially lmtn-mmtn. I am not subhuman enough to be like this but i just fucking ended up never being able to fit in with a group of people. I tried multiple times, when i entered high school i tried, when i switched high schools i tried again, and when that year ended i tried again with another group. I just never was allowed into the in group and always was on the out group.

If i was NT and had been raised correctly in a normal family i would not be on here. I dont even know what to do now. Everybody makes friends in like fucking kindergarten or when they enter high school and then it seems they stay in that friend group forever. I dont have anything like that. Im just alone and now that all these years have passed im mentally behind. Im 2007 and 19 but really mentally im like 2009 and 16-17 right now. I never went to any parties, no experiences, just nothing. Last 3 years of my life since summer 2023 have just been alive but dead. And the years even before that had signs.
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IMG_0201.webp
 
Suicidal&Lonely2007 said:
Sometimes i look in the mirror or at pictures of hte past and i just realize im not subhuman enough to have my life be this shit. I'm 6 foot 4, facially lmtn-mmtn. I am not subhuman enough to be like this but i just fucking ended up never being able to fit in with a group of people. I tried multiple times, when i entered high school i tried, when i switched high schools i tried again, and when that year ended i tried again with another group. I just never was allowed into the in group and always was on the out group.

If i was NT and had been raised correctly in a normal family i would not be on here. I dont even know what to do now. Everybody makes friends in like fucking kindergarten or when they enter high school and then it seems they stay in that friend group forever. I dont have anything like that. Im just alone and now that all these years have passed im mentally behind. Im 2007 and 19 but really mentally im like 2009 and 16-17 right now. I never went to any parties, no experiences, just nothing. Last 3 years of my life since summer 2023 have just been alive but dead. And the years even before that had signs.
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hey we were born in the same year!! :-]
I get that, I'm like lmtb-mmtb but it's SO HARD to integrate into friend groups, I don't think I made a single friend my senior year. I've kinda accepted I'm going to be alone a lot of the time, but I know it can be lonely and really hard. if you need someone to talk to I gotcha :peepoLove:
 
its fixable but just the feeling of looking outside on a bright summerday knowing that you are not subhuman enough to live this life, just the feeling of isolation. If i go on the subway i dont think anybody looking at me would assume i could count on one hand the amount of times i leave my house per month. I wear normal clothes like other people my age where, im 6 foot 4 lmtn like idk i just look like an avarage person in society but i am not.

And even back when i was in school, whats the difference? Id wake up go school go home. Thats the only difference. Nothings even changed the only difference is that i dont get up early in the morning to suffer through a long day of hanging around an in-group that im not apart of and then going home. My life was like this even when i was in school.
 
Suicidal&Lonely2007 said:
its fixable but just the feeling of looking outside on a bright summerday knowing that you are not subhuman enough to live this life, just the feeling of isolation. If i go on the subway i dont think anybody looking at me would assume i could count on one hand the amount of times i leave my house per month. I wear normal clothes like other people my age where, im 6 foot 4 lmtn like idk i just look like an avarage person in society but i am not.

And even back when i was in school, whats the difference? Id wake up go school go home. Thats the only difference. Nothings even changed the only difference is that i dont get up early in the morning to suffer through a long day of hanging around an in-group that im not apart of and then going home. My life was like this even when i was in school.
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If a fat person was complaining about being fat while eating a whole cake, would you care?
 
Suicidal&Lonely2007 said:
I'm not eating a cake (according to your metaphor), i'm working towards bettering my looks its the social isolation that i dont know what to do about
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Obviously the issue is your social abilities. That's the point I was making
 
Penalizer69 said:
Obviously the issue is your social abilities. That's the point I was making
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Yeah and OBVIOUSLY that metaphor is still incorrect because a fat person eating a cake would know how to eat other things but they dont do it, I am not knowledgeable of how to fix my social isolation, I only know how to fix my looks.
 
Suicidal&Lonely2007 said:
Yeah and OBVIOUSLY that metaphor is still incorrect because a fat person eating a cake would know how to eat other things but they dont do it, I am not knowledgeable of how to fix my social isolation, I only know how to fix my looks.
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Isn't it very obvious? You probably have inhib problems, so Lower your inhib. Obviously you need to make friends, so go out more, join a sports team or something.
 
You can have everything it takes to succeed but still fail. You’re different, and that’s why you should give up trying so hard to fit in with everyone else. Understand your strengths, make some compromises (and you have to) so as not to isolate yourself completely, and nurture your hobbies if you have any. Stop trying to be normal and stop comparing yourself to others
 
Same broskiii:sadge:well except I’m also subhuman :popcat:
 
Suicidal&Lonely2007 said:
Sometimes i look in the mirror or at pictures of hte past and i just realize im not subhuman enough to have my life be this shit. I'm 6 foot 4, facially lmtn-mmtn. I am not subhuman enough to be like this but i just fucking ended up never being able to fit in with a group of people. I tried multiple times, when i entered high school i tried, when i switched high schools i tried again, and when that year ended i tried again with another group. I just never was allowed into the in group and always was on the out group.

If i was NT and had been raised correctly in a normal family i would not be on here. I dont even know what to do now. Everybody makes friends in like fucking kindergarten or when they enter high school and then it seems they stay in that friend group forever. I dont have anything like that. Im just alone and now that all these years have passed im mentally behind. Im 2007 and 19 but really mentally im like 2009 and 16-17 right now. I never went to any parties, no experiences, just nothing. Last 3 years of my life since summer 2023 have just been alive but dead. And the years even before that had signs.
Click to expand...
Bruh wtf is this? Are you my doppelganger or something???
You're 2 inches taller than me but the rest is exactly the same for me (and I have a friend ig)
 
Penalizer69 said:
Genuinely what's the difference between school and a sports team tell me
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How tf do you randomly enter a sports team as a 19 year old the same way you would start at a new university? Only works up until like 17-18

Conversation drifted away but main point is that its very hard to make friends without starting a new school or job unless you have some sort of looks halo which i do not.
 
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