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rate my love poem part 2

moonlight1

it’s no use, jo
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My darling, you are the torment of my heart; I feel you so much and desire you so deeply that you torment me, yet I still desire even more of this sweet torture.

I will inevitably dream of you, for I am such a dreamer, and now you live as the object of my reveries. I could dream of you for hours, days, months, and what pleasure it would be to dream of you for the rest of my life.

Awake in the middle of the night, all I can hear is my heart incessantly calling your name, so I try to escape it with music, but still, your voice is the most beautiful song I could hear.

So, I pray to God that perhaps He, seeing the magnitude of my love, will give me to you as your vassal, and you, forever, as my beloved.
 
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My darling, you are the torment of my heart; I feel you so much and desire you so deeply that you torment me, yet I still desire even more of this sweet torture.

I will inevitably dream of you, for I am such a dreamer, and now you live as the object of my reveries. I could dream of you for hours, days, months, and what pleasure it would be to dream of you for the rest of my life.

Awake in the middle of the night, all I can hear is my heart incessantly calling your name, so I try to escape it with music, but still, your voice is the most beautiful song I could hear.

So, I pray to God that perhaps He, seeing the magnitude of my love, will give me to you as your vassal, and you, forever, as my beloved.
I’m a begginer in writing, I really need opinions please

@2ANA @nate @Cat. @Monsieur Meow @Schizotypalcel @Starlet@moonlight1@Marlonmogsyouhaha @sociopath @Garce@Glamour @David🦢 @97baHater@rickydickydoodahgrimes @Currycelloser@Auggy @apatheia @snow @snoblomov@Yani@Dean @Clone @yung foid @[email protected]@tuberculosisinmybal @hazyfuture@</3 @kimothy @muscipla@Randomized Shame @SASALELE @draftLexy@Ghoultune@Molotongo @Galvatron @Sadist @sociopath@Orka @Volksstaffel @AClonedTyrone@BigDihDiddy @Bloxy @bloatcel-@doll @ecoli@emeraldpill @foidslayer22@imareasonableman @Inanimate Pragmatist@kifykify @Krusty @milkjar @P1et@PingPong@Randomized Shame @insomnia@RottingCarrie @ruby@Shkypot @SILVER@sparkle @superior @Tory @Vampi@vespertine@Xx_SteinbergCleanser_xX @xy2m @sparkle jump rope queen @bleeder @ltbscorp
 
I’m a begginer in writing, I really need opinions please

@2ANA @nate @Cat. @Monsieur Meow @Schizotypalcel @Starlet@moonlight1@Marlonmogsyouhaha @sociopath @Garce@Glamour @David🦢 @97baHater@rickydickydoodahgrimes @Currycelloser@Auggy @apatheia @snow @snoblomov@Yani@Dean @Clone @yung foid @[email protected]@tuberculosisinmybal @hazyfuture@</3 @kimothy @muscipla@Randomized Shame @SASALELE @draftLexy@Ghoultune@Molotongo @Galvatron @Sadist @sociopath@Orka @Volksstaffel @AClonedTyrone@BigDihDiddy @Bloxy @bloatcel-@doll @ecoli@emeraldpill @foidslayer22@imareasonableman @Inanimate Pragmatist@kifykify @Krusty @milkjar @P1et@PingPong@Randomized Shame @insomnia@RottingCarrie @ruby@Shkypot @SILVER@sparkle @superior @Tory @Vampi@vespertine@Xx_SteinbergCleanser_xX @xy2m @sparkle jump rope queen @bleeder @ltbscorp
Don't do that
 
My darling, you are the torment of my heart; I feel you so much and desire you so deeply that you torment me, yet I still desire even more of this sweet torture.

I will inevitably dream of you, for I am such a dreamer, and now you live as the object of my reveries. I could dream of you for hours, days, months, and what pleasure it would be to dream of you for the rest of my life.

Awake in the middle of the night, all I can hear is my heart incessantly calling your name, so I try to escape it with music, but still, your voice is the most beautiful song I could hear.

So, I pray to God that perhaps He, seeing the magnitude of my love, will give me to you as your vassal, and you, forever, as my beloved.
you don't need to do all of that
 
I’m a begginer in writing, I really need opinions please

@2ANA @nate @Cat. @Monsieur Meow @Schizotypalcel @Starlet@moonlight1@Marlonmogsyouhaha @sociopath @Garce@Glamour @David🦢 @97baHater@rickydickydoodahgrimes @Currycelloser@Auggy @apatheia @snow @snoblomov@Yani@Dean @Clone @yung foid @[email protected]@tuberculosisinmybal @hazyfuture@</3 @kimothy @muscipla@Randomized Shame @SASALELE @draftLexy@Ghoultune@Molotongo @Galvatron @Sadist @sociopath@Orka @Volksstaffel @AClonedTyrone@BigDihDiddy @Bloxy @bloatcel-@doll @ecoli@emeraldpill @foidslayer22@imareasonableman @Inanimate Pragmatist@kifykify @Krusty @milkjar @P1et@PingPong@Randomized Shame @insomnia@RottingCarrie @ruby@Shkypot @SILVER@sparkle @superior @Tory @Vampi@vespertine@Xx_SteinbergCleanser_xX @xy2m @sparkle jump rope queen @bleeder @ltbscorp
Gay. Don’t @ me again n***a
 
I would say CHATGPT and Block. That's just me, so maybe it's good
it’s not being sent, i used the wrong word it’s not s text, it’s more of a poem. This is not being sent
 
I’m a begginer in writing, I really need opinions please

@2ANA @nate @Cat. @Monsieur Meow @Schizotypalcel @Starlet@moonlight1@Marlonmogsyouhaha @sociopath @Garce@Glamour @David🦢 @97baHater@rickydickydoodahgrimes @Currycelloser@Auggy @apatheia @snow @snoblomov@Yani@Dean @Clone @yung foid @[email protected]@tuberculosisinmybal @hazyfuture@</3 @kimothy @muscipla@Randomized Shame @SASALELE @draftLexy@Ghoultune@Molotongo @Galvatron @Sadist @sociopath@Orka @Volksstaffel @AClonedTyrone@BigDihDiddy @Bloxy @bloatcel-@doll @ecoli@emeraldpill @foidslayer22@imareasonableman @Inanimate Pragmatist@kifykify @Krusty @milkjar @P1et@PingPong@Randomized Shame @insomnia@RottingCarrie @ruby@Shkypot @SILVER@sparkle @superior @Tory @Vampi@vespertine@Xx_SteinbergCleanser_xX @xy2m @sparkle jump rope queen @bleeder @ltbscorp
i hope you get groomed for listing me in a masstag other than that overall 8-8.5/10 id say too much repitition of ideas and some awkward phrases
 
i hope you get groomed for listing me in a masstag other than that overall 8-8.5/10 id say too much repitition of ideas and some awkward phrases
i’m sorry for tagging i didn’t knew people disliked being tagged that much
 
My darling, you are the torment of my heart; I feel you so much and desire you so deeply that you torment me, yet I still desire even more of this sweet torture.

I will inevitably dream of you, for I am such a dreamer, and now you live as the object of my reveries. I could dream of you for hours, days, months, and what pleasure it would be to dream of you for the rest of my life.

Awake in the middle of the night, all I can hear is my heart incessantly calling your name, so I try to escape it with music, but still, your voice is the most beautiful song I could hear.

So, I pray to God that perhaps He, seeing the magnitude of my love, will give me to you as your vassal, and you, forever, as my beloved.
Boiiiii Natsuki had better poems than whatever this is ✌️😂 but you'll improve one day moonlight ❤️
 
My darling, you are the torment of my heart; I feel you so much and desire you so deeply that you torment me, yet I still desire even more of this sweet torture.

I will inevitably dream of you, for I am such a dreamer, and now you live as the object of my reveries. I could dream of you for hours, days, months, and what pleasure it would be to dream of you for the rest of my life.

Awake in the middle of the night, all I can hear is my heart incessantly calling your name, so I try to escape it with music, but still, your voice is the most beautiful song I could hear.

So, I pray to God that perhaps He, seeing the magnitude of my love, will give me to you as your vassal, and you, forever, as my beloved.
That's not even a poem
 
My darling, you are the torment of my heart; I feel you so much and desire you so deeply that you torment me, yet I still desire even more of this sweet torture.

I will inevitably dream of you, for I am such a dreamer, and now you live as the object of my reveries. I could dream of you for hours, days, months, and what pleasure it would be to dream of you for the rest of my life.

Awake in the middle of the night, all I can hear is my heart incessantly calling your name, so I try to escape it with music, but still, your voice is the most beautiful song I could hear.

So, I pray to God that perhaps He, seeing the magnitude of my love, will give me to you as your vassal, and you, forever, as my beloved.
nice poem
 
My darling, you are the torment of my heart; I feel you so much and desire you so deeply that you torment me, yet I still desire even more of this sweet torture.

I will inevitably dream of you, for I am such a dreamer, and now you live as the object of my reveries. I could dream of you for hours, days, months, and what pleasure it would be to dream of you for the rest of my life.

Awake in the middle of the night, all I can hear is my heart incessantly calling your name, so I try to escape it with music, but still, your voice is the most beautiful song I could hear.

So, I pray to God that perhaps He, seeing the magnitude of my love, will give me to you as your vassal, and you, forever, as my beloved.
It’s Nice But you do have some improvement ahead of you , if you want I’ll give you some tips - I like to write too
 
It’s Nice But you do have some improvement ahead of you , if you want I’ll give you some tips - I like to write too
yes please
 
Bad tempo needs structure its all over the place. Needs some sort of cadence
 
yes please
Try rhyming more , it’s definitely beginner friendly.
Also using the same word over again is a bit suffocating if not done well do I wouldn’t recommend.
Higher language is good too , I can show you my writing too if you’re interested btw
 
Try rhyming more , it’s definitely beginner friendly.
Also using the same word over again is a bit suffocating if not done well do I wouldn’t recommend.
Higher language is good too , I can show you my writing too if you’re interested btw
yea i wanna see it
 
I’m a begginer in writing, I really need opinions please

@2ANA @nate @Cat. @Monsieur Meow @Schizotypalcel @Starlet@moonlight1@Marlonmogsyouhaha @sociopath @Garce@Glamour @David🦢 @97baHater@rickydickydoodahgrimes @Currycelloser@Auggy @apatheia @snow @snoblomov@Yani@Dean @Clone @yung foid @[email protected]@tuberculosisinmybal @hazyfuture@</3 @kimothy @muscipla@Randomized Shame @SASALELE @draftLexy@Ghoultune@Molotongo @Galvatron @Sadist @sociopath@Orka @Volksstaffel @AClonedTyrone@BigDihDiddy @Bloxy @bloatcel-@doll @ecoli@emeraldpill @foidslayer22@imareasonableman @Inanimate Pragmatist@kifykify @Krusty @milkjar @P1et@PingPong@Randomized Shame @insomnia@RottingCarrie @ruby@Shkypot @SILVER@sparkle @superior @Tory @Vampi@vespertine@Xx_SteinbergCleanser_xX @xy2m @sparkle jump rope queen @bleeder @ltbscorp
Never tag me again f****t
 

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