This is a mistake I see in the famous "female gaze" or also called "men written by a woman" these guys of the female gaze are attractive not because they are "feminine or effeminate men", but because they are of high status, i.e. they are famous.
Characters like Timothée Chalamet, the Chinese from bts, Mr. Darcy, Sergi Cabrer, Loki from the movie Thor, Evan Peters, Ryan Gosling from the movie Barbie, etc
Often all these characters are lumped into the category of the "female gaze" and lovers of appearances tend to believe, following a linear logic, that these guys are attractive because of how they look... And not for what they are... People of high status.
The fan phenomenon
Women are sexually attracted to their idols for two main reasons:
One is Preselection and the other is Social Value (status).
Female attraction is highly social: what she likes is strongly influenced by what other women seem to like.
One definition of status is: the degree to which you are recognized and sought after within a community. Hence, one cannot speak of a person's Social Value in the abstract, but only within a particular community.
"Sought after" is understood in the sense of "receiving attention".
In our world, in our society, The ultimate expression of Status or Social Value is fame.
"Women seem to have solved the adaptive problem of acquiring resources in part by preferring high-status men." - David Buss
Good looks as a marker
Common sense leads me to think that someone who is good looking, because they are physically attractive, is good looking because they are healthy and someone who is healthy is generally good looking because they are of high status.
Which there is a probability that this is exactly the case.
The higher in the dominance hierarchy you are, the less stress you experience, the higher your dopamine levels are (and the more receptors you have) this feeds back into testosterone for example, testosterone causes you to have a faster metabolism giving you a fitter appearance and renew tissues faster. Being high in the hierarchy unlocks high levels of testosterone.
Although it may not seem credible, it has been shown that people with a higher status have a higher amount of dopamine receptors and this makes them feel more motivated and satisfied.
"It's all about appearance."
No, it's all about power. Health is a form of power.
Health is shown to the outside world through your appearance.
Low tolerance to CO2? - Small jaws and asymmetries - > ugly face.
But health shows up even more through personality. If you are inflamed and unhealthy, your gaba will be low, you will talk too much and feel anxious.
A healthy individual with minimal inflammation will have high GABA (neurotransmitter) levels and tend to have more balanced emotions with a lot of confidence.
Appearances and personality act as markers of your status within the group.
To sum up my point: girls are looking for high status men, above anything else, the guys in the female gaze represent the type of high status guy with a tendency to use that status to protect and provide for them.
These guys like Mr. Darcy, thimotee chalamet or Jungkook are attractive not because they look like nice and sweet women but because they have Fame, money, power and on top of that good genes. These guys are the perfect archetype to sum up what women want for a long term relationship.
So guys, the female gaze is not about looking effeminate, it's about maximizing your status and optimizing your HEALTH above all else.
Characters like Timothée Chalamet, the Chinese from bts, Mr. Darcy, Sergi Cabrer, Loki from the movie Thor, Evan Peters, Ryan Gosling from the movie Barbie, etc
Often all these characters are lumped into the category of the "female gaze" and lovers of appearances tend to believe, following a linear logic, that these guys are attractive because of how they look... And not for what they are... People of high status.
The fan phenomenon
Women are sexually attracted to their idols for two main reasons:
One is Preselection and the other is Social Value (status).
Female attraction is highly social: what she likes is strongly influenced by what other women seem to like.
One definition of status is: the degree to which you are recognized and sought after within a community. Hence, one cannot speak of a person's Social Value in the abstract, but only within a particular community.
"Sought after" is understood in the sense of "receiving attention".
In our world, in our society, The ultimate expression of Status or Social Value is fame.
"Women seem to have solved the adaptive problem of acquiring resources in part by preferring high-status men." - David Buss
Good looks as a marker
Common sense leads me to think that someone who is good looking, because they are physically attractive, is good looking because they are healthy and someone who is healthy is generally good looking because they are of high status.
Which there is a probability that this is exactly the case.
The higher in the dominance hierarchy you are, the less stress you experience, the higher your dopamine levels are (and the more receptors you have) this feeds back into testosterone for example, testosterone causes you to have a faster metabolism giving you a fitter appearance and renew tissues faster. Being high in the hierarchy unlocks high levels of testosterone.
Although it may not seem credible, it has been shown that people with a higher status have a higher amount of dopamine receptors and this makes them feel more motivated and satisfied.
"It's all about appearance."
No, it's all about power. Health is a form of power.
Health is shown to the outside world through your appearance.
Low tolerance to CO2? - Small jaws and asymmetries - > ugly face.
But health shows up even more through personality. If you are inflamed and unhealthy, your gaba will be low, you will talk too much and feel anxious.
A healthy individual with minimal inflammation will have high GABA (neurotransmitter) levels and tend to have more balanced emotions with a lot of confidence.
Appearances and personality act as markers of your status within the group.
To sum up my point: girls are looking for high status men, above anything else, the guys in the female gaze represent the type of high status guy with a tendency to use that status to protect and provide for them.
These guys like Mr. Darcy, thimotee chalamet or Jungkook are attractive not because they look like nice and sweet women but because they have Fame, money, power and on top of that good genes. These guys are the perfect archetype to sum up what women want for a long term relationship.
So guys, the female gaze is not about looking effeminate, it's about maximizing your status and optimizing your HEALTH above all else.
