Guide VAMPIREMAXXING

[schizoethniccel]

What about wizardmaxxing? Drop us some good spells

 

[levithedudebro]

will be following this immediately

 

[knightmaxxer]

What about wizardmaxxing? Drop us some good spells

(do not) mix bleach and vinegar to cast chlorine gas

 

[übermenschgrimreaper]

THE DESIRE FOR VAMPIRISM
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ever since i was a wee lad, playin with Dracula costumes and biting my hot female neighbour who i didnt know was hot yet cus i was 7 i dreamed of becoming a vampire, i will dream no more. For i have decided to make me dreams a reality sorta kinda.

so i have decided to vampiremaxx for a week during the school holidays for the fuckin fun of it cus i have nothin better to do
heres the steps im going to take to become a vampire

STEP 1: NOCTURNALISM

any true vampire is nocturnal, this is water. so to better larp- i mean vampiremaxx i intend to become literally nocturnal. Infact as i type this (its 3am) i woke up at 6pm when it was already practically dark out and i intend to sleep only a lil after sunrise and so im already becoming nocturnal. And in order to not be super tired im gonna stare at screens n shit while its nighttime and also exercise a lot. however i will try to avoid caffeine so i dont get jittery, because vampires are cold and collected not jittery... honestly the tiredness may help me in the whole vampiric demeanour department.

STEP 2: EVILNESS

vampires are evil ahh creatures of the night, and thus to better larp, i must also become an evil ahh creature of the night. to do this i am going to listen to hypergamous foids hypergamous foids = chai tea talking (the most evil creaturs around), and listen to scary music. and also walk around my neighbourhood looking shady, appearing in peoples peripheral vision and spooking them with my chud appearance, all while wearing black (the colour of evil) clothing.

STEP 3: THE LOOK
we all know the signature vampire look. pale as a eternally virgin gamer, weirdly red lips, long ahh canine teeth, black hair cus blondes cant be evil, and sexy eyebags. and unnaturally clear skin
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is this look easy to achieve?
NO! of fucking course it isnt you r****d! especially not for CHUDS like US (yes US, you and me n***a.) mainly cus of the ''having clear skin'' part. but worry not! because i still plan to larp it even if i cant do it natty on account of being a fággot chud incel. and i will do this by embracing my f****t chud incel self and just wearing makeup instead of doing anything actually hard like using trettyinoine or whatever its called. specifically i will be wearing Venetian Ceruse makeup like queen lizzy tha first, made of white lead and vinigger, and make my lips redder with another thing from queen lizzy called rouge, which is made from cinnebar (mercury)... or i might just wear normal makeup.
and as for the sharp teeth? my canine teeth are already abnormally sharp so ill just brush to make them whiter and more vampiric looking. maybe eat a pomegranate to add some red tones.
and as for the black hair and eyebags? already got those too.

STEP 4: THE DIET
the fuck you think a vampires diet is you fucking rɘtard??? human blood. i am going to drink human blood. do not enquire on how im getting it. fuck you. (or i might buy actual pig blood from the butcher near my house, if i do ill post it in the thread.)
STEP 5: LEARNING ROMANIAN
this part is pretty self explanatory, vampires are romanian, so i gotta learn romanian
I WILL KEEP YOU ALL POSTED IN THIS THREAD DURING MY WEEK OF VAMPIRE LARP, I AM DEDICATING MYSELF TO SCIENCE!
tagging people who i think are cool enough to be interested in vampires: @Penalizer69 @foidslayer @saccharinesaint @chudlite67 @DEATH @Pentatonic @vespertine
tapologies if this thread is shit i am genuinely tweaking, i have been having audio visual and touch based hallucinations for a while now, i keep hearing people talking outside my room when im home alone, i see people in my peripheral vision and also i feel like spiders are randomly crawling on me. probably because i havent drank water in like 30 hours

genuinely the best shit I’ve read all yr long