recklessperson67
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- Sep 12, 2026
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I dont think my eating habits will ever be 100 percent normal considering what I went through, but I wonder if there are ways to improve? My goal is to have a normal weight physique and maintain that forever. How to stop binging when appetite is irregular? How to eat healthily? I dont know so help me!!! Is there any girls here that went through something like this too and how did you fix it. I Don't know where else to post.
My backstory:
When i was a kid all the way up to adolescent my family was poor and we could barely pay the bills.
Due to that my eating habits were always quite strange.
I was a tall kid but i was really underweight and i guess that messed up my hormones while growing up.
I have a younger brother and thankfully now that we have enough money he is growing properly unlike me.
I am 170cm now as an adult and my brother is 14 and 190cm and although i am a woman i suppose if i had the right nutrients in childhood i could have been much taller.
And when I say underweight i mean really really underweight.
There are pictures of 9-14 year old me and i can count all of my ribs, limbs look like they can snap and my face looks pale.
One day i passed out in school and i thought i was gonna die because of how hard my heart was pounding ,but all the people did was gossip and make fun of me. i hate them all.
quite disturbing now that i look back at it. i cant imagine treating a kid like that what the fuck were these people thinking??????
My dad got a serious job when i was 15 and thats when I started binge eating and gained a lot of weight.
I think i was almost 100kg. It was horrible. i was getting bulied every day but i didnt care anymore.
4 years later i am now 80kg at 170cm. My eating habits are so weird. Some days im never hungry and others i could eat everything.
I just want to eat normally but i dont know what that looks like because unlike people with eating disorders there is no "before" that i can go back to because i was like this since childhood.
All i know is that i cant keep living like this. And i dont know whats wrong and why i have these binge urges. Maybe ptsd?
I cant imagine starving myself, fasting or doing intense exercise because it feels horrible.
I tried looking at the eating disorder support forum but i think that on top of physical malnutrition they deal with bad thoughts and they cant eat even if they have food so i cant really relate to that aspect.
I mean i definitely am fucked in the head in other ways but i always felt neutral abt my body, when i was skinny i knew it , when i was obese i was aware and now im also kinda fat but i rarely think about it. I always knew that my eating issues and weight were because of my upbringing. But now that i am an adult it is time to do something about it so idk i need to find a way to stop binging, find out how normal people eat and also start lifing weights because i might have bone and muscle issues. And i guess naturally when i fix all that i will look better so i think its valid to write here on this site. Also english is not my fist language so i apologize for all the grammar issues although i believe it is readable what i wrote.
My backstory:
When i was a kid all the way up to adolescent my family was poor and we could barely pay the bills.
Due to that my eating habits were always quite strange.
I was a tall kid but i was really underweight and i guess that messed up my hormones while growing up.
I have a younger brother and thankfully now that we have enough money he is growing properly unlike me.
I am 170cm now as an adult and my brother is 14 and 190cm and although i am a woman i suppose if i had the right nutrients in childhood i could have been much taller.
And when I say underweight i mean really really underweight.
There are pictures of 9-14 year old me and i can count all of my ribs, limbs look like they can snap and my face looks pale.
One day i passed out in school and i thought i was gonna die because of how hard my heart was pounding ,but all the people did was gossip and make fun of me. i hate them all.
quite disturbing now that i look back at it. i cant imagine treating a kid like that what the fuck were these people thinking??????
My dad got a serious job when i was 15 and thats when I started binge eating and gained a lot of weight.
I think i was almost 100kg. It was horrible. i was getting bulied every day but i didnt care anymore.
4 years later i am now 80kg at 170cm. My eating habits are so weird. Some days im never hungry and others i could eat everything.
I just want to eat normally but i dont know what that looks like because unlike people with eating disorders there is no "before" that i can go back to because i was like this since childhood.
All i know is that i cant keep living like this. And i dont know whats wrong and why i have these binge urges. Maybe ptsd?
I cant imagine starving myself, fasting or doing intense exercise because it feels horrible.
I tried looking at the eating disorder support forum but i think that on top of physical malnutrition they deal with bad thoughts and they cant eat even if they have food so i cant really relate to that aspect.
I mean i definitely am fucked in the head in other ways but i always felt neutral abt my body, when i was skinny i knew it , when i was obese i was aware and now im also kinda fat but i rarely think about it. I always knew that my eating issues and weight were because of my upbringing. But now that i am an adult it is time to do something about it so idk i need to find a way to stop binging, find out how normal people eat and also start lifing weights because i might have bone and muscle issues. And i guess naturally when i fix all that i will look better so i think its valid to write here on this site. Also english is not my fist language so i apologize for all the grammar issues although i believe it is readable what i wrote.