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somethings wrong idk? it's making me paranoid.

volcel

reachforthesurface
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When I was 15 I fractured my neck but right before it happened I remember hearing a voice saying don't do it, afterwards I thought it was a bit of a religious thing, Idk how to explain it much, after that I started seeing figures out of the corner of my eyes and I eventually told my mom about it but said she will sometime see this too and she genuinely believes they are bad spirits and even my dad has apparently told her he sees them as well(I haven't asked him directly). I started getting very disturbing dreams as well that were about death and a few months later I'd say I started seeing people I knew when I woke up but they'd soon disappear usually after I was more awake. I also have recently started hearing someone running back in forth outside my bedroom door and pounding on my door really loud. Back in 2025 May I did something very disturbing to myself and I genuinely didn't realize what was going on I mean I understood what I was doing but I though I was more of hallucinating it and when I ended up in the hospital I was too embarrassed to say what was going on so I just said I tried "ending" myself which was a dumb excuse but I didn't want them to think I was insane. I was in therapy for a while after this and I'd always try to get myself to say something about it but I was just too embarrassed and I don't even have therapy anymore, I'm not on abilify or fluoxetine anymore and I'm afraid if something like this will happen again and its making me less confident and very paranoid I practically just do most of what I can in bed and I'm terrified of sharp objects and big heights.

I guess what I'm trying to ask is how do I approach this topic without sounding corny IRL since I'm worried something will happen to me and I'll be put in a situation again, its just a matter of time maybe
 
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Just have schizophrenia
honestly I was curious about this but I feel like there's so many people who self diagnose themselves with rare mental illnesses like this and I'm genuinely worried I'll just end up sounding corny as hell.
 
honestly I was curious about this but I feel like there's so many people who self diagnose themselves with rare mental illnesses like this and I'm genuinely worried I'll just end up sounding corny as hell.
also wondering if there could something similar to this? like not schizophrenia but maybe a none long term mentally illness if I were to take medication for it?
 
honestly I was curious about this but I feel like there's so many people who self diagnose themselves with rare mental illnesses like this and I'm genuinely worried I'll just end up sounding corny as hell.
Yea u should deff speak to a psychiatrist before diagnosing
But its not corny its not like u can do anything about it
 
also wondering if there could something similar to this? like not schizophrenia but maybe a none long term mentally illness if I were to take medication for it?
Maybe get it checked out sounds really bad
Wish you the best
 
Yea u should deff speak to a psychiatrist before diagnosing
But its not corny its not like u can do anything about it
I do have a psychiatrist but my mom is always right next to me in the meetings with him (its over the computer) I'm aware I can ask for privacy but my mom would probably try to bring it up later and get out what I said and she usually ends up getting what she wants, also my psychiatrist has an accent Im pretty sure his first language isn't English so I'm not even sure if he could do much because he did lower my abilify down until I wasn't taking it at all by just talking with my mom he barely even asks me anything but goes straight to my mom for questions. he just asks me the basics. Have you self harmed, have you thought of offing yourself in the past blah blah,
 
I do have a psychiatrist but my mom is always right next to me in the meetings with him (its over the computer) I'm aware I can ask for privacy but my mom would probably try to bring it up later and get out what I said and she usually ends up getting what she wants, also my psychiatrist has an accent Im pretty sure his first language isn't English so I'm not even sure if he could do much because he did lower my abilify down until I wasn't taking it at all by just talking with my mom he barely even asks me anything but goes straight to my mom for questions. he just asks me the basics. Have you self harmed, have you thought of offing yourself in the past blah blah,
Did you experience something traumatic? Maybe the hallucinations can be from that

And if you are 18 you can get your own psychiatrist. Maybe they can help you cuz i know with your mom it might be a lil weird
 
Did you experience something traumatic? Maybe the hallucinations can be from that

And if you are 18 you can get your own psychiatrist. Maybe they can help you cuz i know with your mom it might be a lil weird
oh okay awesome I didn't know that I turn 18 really soon, hopefully I can get straight to it after!
 
idk you can if you want, you do you
Here's a shorter, simplified version:

When I was 15, I heard a voice telling me not to do something, and after that, I started seeing figures. I told my mom, and she thinks they’re bad spirits—my dad says he sees them too. I also had scary dreams about death and sometimes saw people I knew who then disappeared. Recently, I hear footsteps outside my door.
In 2025 May, I did something really bad to myself without fully understanding it. I lied about it in the hospital because I was embarrassed. I’m not on medication now, and I’m scared it might happen again. I’m very anxious and avoid sharp objects and heights.
How can I talk about this in real life without sounding weird? I’m worried it might happen again.

Would you like help with how to say this to someone?
 
oh okay awesome I didn't know that I turn 18 really soon, hopefully I can get straight to it after!
Yea im sure you can also request it from your docter
Yea they cant tell anything ti your mom neither cuz your an adult then so its more “safe” to talk abour your problems
 
Did you experience something traumatic? Maybe the hallucinations can be from that

And if you are 18 you can get your own psychiatrist. Maybe they can help you cuz i know with your mom it might be a lil weird
I think at first I thought it was the fractured neck and also how there was deprived oxygen to my brain for a bit. but its been going on for so long I was 15 and turn 18 soon.
 
Here's a shorter, simplified version:

When I was 15, I heard a voice telling me not to do something, and after that, I started seeing figures. I told my mom, and she thinks they’re bad spirits—my dad says he sees them too. I also had scary dreams about death and sometimes saw people I knew who then disappeared. Recently, I hear footsteps outside my door.
In 2025 May, I did something really bad to myself without fully understanding it. I lied about it in the hospital because I was embarrassed. I’m not on medication now, and I’m scared it might happen again. I’m very anxious and avoid sharp objects and heights.
How can I talk about this in real life without sounding weird? I’m worried it might happen again.

Would you like help with how to say this to someone?
Yeah you should go seek help to an specialist
 
I think at first I thought it was the fractured neck and also how there was deprived oxygen to my brain for a bit. but its been going on for so long I was 15 and turn 18 soon.
Maybe it could be that
Your brain maybe got damaged and now something doesnt work properly
 
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tell ur doctor so you can be sure whether its paranoia or if youve got a diagnosis 💔
 

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