- Joined
- Feb 20, 2024
- Messages
- 1,234
- Reputation
- 478
PERSONALITY
One of the most underestimated and underemphasized aspects of developing yourself as a person and improving the way others perceive you. This thread will be about why it is important and how to improve it. DISCLAIMER: This may be a little biased, and you are free to disagree. All sources will be at the bottom.Why it's Neglected
There are many reasons why people put high emphasis on attractiveness while severely neglecting their behavior. "Incels," according to Google, are people who 
believe they are unable to find a partner, usually due to being perceived as ugly and/or destitute/poor personality. However, these are obviously just excuses for people who give up. Additionally, people will try and court someone and get rejected solely based on their appearance, and not their personality and bond formed with that person. Being insulted can affect your esteem too. Due to this many people turn to pouring all of their efforts into looking good. But what are you without character? Have you reduced yourself to a doll? This is why I believe that both personality AND looks are important players in success. if you have a good personality, you will likely strive for success. If you have good looks, you have better confidence, and thus a better personality (generally). These 2 are clearly interdependent.Also, you can form more genuine relationships with others. Without it, people are more likely to use you for your success, whether it be money, status, intelligence, power, or beauty. Of course, you can still be manipulated, but if you set clear boundaries and also focus on inner work for yourself, you will be able to realize who is using you and who cares for you.
How Personality Can Affect Appearance, Vice Versa
Many studies have found that positive traits can be linked to better perceptions of physical beauty, while negative traits are associated with poorer perceptions. In fact, in a study, people found that one good trait causes people to translate into another one. For example, if a girl is nice to you, you will subconsciously assume that she is an honest and patient person, without any proof. Things like beauty can also be incorporated into this, going both ways, with beauty influencing how people see your personality, and your personality influencing how people feel about your looks. Plus, if you are attractive, people will now expect more from your personality since they assume that you will be a certain way, so it will be helpful to not mess up this impression that they have of you.
Keep in mind that you do not have to be a very specific way; there is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to personality. Societal, cultural, familial norms and personal goals vary, thus affecting the way you will turn out to be. Also, you don't have to entirely change, stop being funny or be crude. You can still retain the real you. But first, you have to know who really is the real you, not the one influenced by social media, etc. I would recommend cutting off social media (you don't have to do it entirely), meditation, self-care, watching videos on how to improve social skills, improving wardrobe, reading, learning, and more. Go outside more and see how real people interact in the world, not only online. Experiment and try to have fun.Fixing your personality may be harder than actual looks. If you want to change your appearance, you can just go to a store and buy skincare products. Unfortunately, there is no product to treat a shitty personality. It is an internal struggle, not a modifiable physical trait. However, it is very much doable and important.
My Own Experiences
Alright quick story time. I've met many beautiful girls and guys. When I first see them, I do somewhat feel more drawn towards them (in a mostly non-sexual way lol), and I want to talk to them. However, sometimes, they will have rotten personalities. I've noticed that weeks of them being rude and in general not nice has made me more repulsed by them, and now they just look average and irrelevant to me physically and personally. So yeah. Obviously, my own experience doesn't prove this, but for me, it is definitely a real thing that I can testify to.
Tips to Improve
1. Get a hobby
Actually have something going on in your life (preferably a hobby that does not involve being online all the time). This way, you can maybe go out, possibly socialize, and additionally have something to talk about when you are having a conversation. Without hobbies, you are a generic, boring person who is hella average. It can be anything from a sport to chess.
2. Learn manners
If you learn proper etiquette and manners, you can impress others (including family and elders), as well as not seem like a slob.
3. Practice speaking
Some people have trouble communicating, especially in real life. Practicing phrases to use in a conversation can make the convo more interesting. You can also learn skills that can help you become a great speaker and listener. You can practice with family members, friends, your pets, or even a mirror. Sure, it'll be awkward, but it'll be worth it in the long run. Remember, no pain, no gain.
4. Have open body language
If you always seem closed off and unconfident, people will be less likely to approach you. Some common avoidant cues include: slouching shoulders, head-down, always on your phone, constantly listening to music, poor eye contact, short replies, and more.
5. Prioritize friends
Have clear boundaries, and don't befriend people whom you don't genuinely care for, and they don't care for you. See who has helped you the most, who has been the closest, and been there for you. These are the people you should keep. If you have to message someone first to talk to them, or they avoid you, etc., then it's time to let go. Having fewer friends can also help you focus your resources and energy elsewhere.
6. Take risks
You won't get anywhere without taking risks. Sure, it might be awkward to approach someone on the first day of school or work, and it might end badly, but who knows? That person could help you, and even become a lifelong friend. Try things out, like a new restaurant. Now you are more open-minded to new experiences, and you have more to talk about. Your life will become significantly more interesting. This also doesn't have to only apply to social situations.
7. Change your mindset
Don't expect good things to come to you. Work hard for them. Develop discipline, and try. Don't give up, you've got this.
Good luck to all of you. I hope that you may ascend and your life will be better.
Sources:
There are more sources that you can readily find online, these are just the basics. If you search it up, you will find the sources, and/or sites that will link sources in their articles.
Incel | Definition, History, & Facts
Incel, member of an online subculture of primarily heterosexual men who identify as being unable to have romantic or sexual relationships. This self-described inability to form attachments is often expressed as grievance toward women. Incel subculture has been associated with misogyny, extremism,
www.britannica.com
The Effects of Attractiveness and Status on Personality Evaluation
Research on personality has shown that perceiving a person as attractive fosters positive expectations about his/her personal characteristics. Literature has also demonstrated a significant link between personality traits and occupational achievement. ...
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
Good conduct makes your face attractive: The effect of personality perception on facial attractiveness judgments
Human facial attractiveness is related to physical features, such as clear complexion and symmetry. However, it is also known that facial attractiveness judgments are influenced by a wide range of non-physical factors. Here, we examined the effect of ...
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
The Importance of Personality Development-Lexicon MILE Blogs
This blog contains information about the importance of personality development.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I made this thread because someone told me to. I spent like 2 hours on this lol. I'll try to reply to everyone's comments 
.@Nihilus I just realized could this be MUST READ worthy?
(everyone knows im the sigma (its over for me))
